And that was using data collected in the 2010 census; in 2000, 57 percent of American adults were married, so if the trend is projected forward, less than half of American adults are married now.
 |
| Pop goes the relationship! |
There are a lot of directions one can go with that statistic:
• It is hard on the national economy. • "Freedom to Marry" now refers to homosexuals. • Fewer children will experience family life with married parents and multiple siblings. • Lower wages due to globalization and technological change may further reduce incentives to marry.
However, for the purposes of Lessons from a Runaway Bride, and in keeping with the theme of personal Independence this holiday, and due to the fact that this is a Bible-based blog comparing real life with scripture, today's post will look at the biblical view of marriage and how KatieLyn received and followed advice that was not biblical; in fact, she followed advice that aligns with America's divorce culture.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
The percentage of Americans marrying by age 40 has decreased below the level of any previous generation.¹ There is no single reason for this other than the broadly stated fact that Satan is out to destroy God's plan for His creation. A good analogy is found in walking a woodsy path on a day when the spiders have been spinning their webs. It is possible to run into dozens of spider webs in just a few hundred yards. We can label the webs with any name that produces stress or confusion. With the way the path turns directions and because an overhead canopy of leaves is constantly moving in variable winds, it is nearly impossible to avoid running into some of Satan's traps. Even with good training and sharp eyes, some of the webs will still be so nearly invisible that you will be in them before you know they are there.
Continuing the metaphor, KatieLyn was afraid of spiderwebs. That is not totally unreasonable. They are a sticky uncomfortable mess. Walking into one means that you are only inches from a potentially biting spider. But when God has told you that the destiny you have prayed for lies at the end of the path, one should buck up her courage and have faith for making it through.
What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead give him a serpent? Luke 11:11
God does not give his children back alleys with overloaded dumpsters. He'd offer a tumbled waterfall at the other end of the path with a sparkling pool beneath, or a breathtaking vista of a snow-capped mountain, or a wide beach with balmy breezes, or whatever He knew would make her happy. But she has to TRUST Him more than she listens to her mother. THAT was her test; and she flunked it this time around.
The good news is that God allows do-overs. Maybe that ought to be The Lesson where I end with firecracker optimism. But do-overs get easier only if you are willing to learn from past mistakes. God rarely lets one move on without first dealing with what was broken. KatieLyn will keep having challenges in her life that are God-designed opportunities to break the codependency that she shares with her mom.
The idea that you can simply decide to move on is not supported in scripture. Oh yes, there is that verse from Hebrews 12:1, Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race set out for us. Except that KatieLyn did not throw off the encumbrance that kept her as a child; to the contrary she ran back to it! And she did not lay aside the falsehood that so easily entangled her; instead, she rationalized it.
Time and time again, the story from scripture is one where the offense must be dealt with head on. King David did not walk scot-free after sending Uriah to the battle front. Jonah didn't get to sail away to Tarshish, which he regarded as a better direction for his life; if he had not repented the fish probably would not have resurfaced near the beach.
In the New Testament, the woman who was about to be stoned had to come to terms with Jesus before he told her to go and sin no more.
In the parable of the prodigal son, even though we can deduce that the Father was always looking for and hopeful that his son would repent, based on his father seeing him while he was still far away, it is only after the son "came to his senses" that the son was able to be restored. The Father had been willing all along, but the son's own heart-attitude had prevented him from receiving acceptance.
John Mark, whom one might describe as an "intern," had started out with Paul and Barnabas on their first missionary journey but abandoned them at Pamphylia. When it came time to revisit and check up on the churches, Paul chose to travel with Silas instead of giving John Mark another chance. Only years later, after John Mark had proven himself by helping Barnabas, did he regain Paul's trust.
Tragically, KatieLyn was not challenged by her mom to come to terms with missing the mark. Her mom told her that she would support "whatever she decided," even when her decision took her further from God's will. The advice KatieLyn took did not come from Bible examples; it was more like the advice from a worldly magazine found in the supermarket check-out line that encourages women to just move on. All of the reasons and that her mom used to justify herself to me sounded like the the arguments used to try and justify getting divorced. In other words, KatieLyn never heard biblical marriage advice from her mom, she got divorce advice instead.
The Lesson
In the Gospels, the blotting out of sins and mistakes is constructed with an if/then statement. If we repent and turn, then the sin is blotted out; Acts 3:19. If we confess, then He is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse; 1 John 1:9. Unless you repent, you will all likewise perish; Luke 13:3. These are not limited to repentance for salvation and being born-again.
James 4:8 makes it clear that it applies to the double-minded as well, and several of the earlier posts on this blog are dedicated to showing how Satan used the words of KatieLyn's mom to rob her of her original faith and refill that vacuum with double-minded confusion. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
The same kind of disorientation that KatieLyn's mom planted in her mind by picking fights with her was addressed in Jesus' post-resurrection message to the church: Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent, Revelation 2:5. KatieLyn fell from her faith that the Lord had answered fifteen years worth of prayers to land in a swamp of confusion and double-mindedness.
KatieLyn has joined the 50%+ of unmarried adults in America because she allowed herself to be robbed of an already-answered prayer. Unfortunately, she foisted her tragic loss of faith upon Joe as well.
¹ Martin, S., N. P. Astone, and H. E. Peters. "Fewer Marriages, More Divergence: Marriage Projections for Millennials to Age 40." (2014). Urban Institute, Apr. 2014. Web. 30 June 2016.
No comments:
Post a Comment