One of the most upsetting, even tragic, lessons from the runaway bride is seeing people who are so wrong in their pride —and knowing there is nothing to be done about it. They have made their choice, and they are fully willing to lie to themselves and live in self-deception to maintain their ego.
Gwen was never very adept at hiding her pride side. The day that we met, she was trying just a little too hard. She sprinkled her conversation with her accomplishments, not unlike a performance at a job interview. Small stuff mostly, the kinds of things that I was inclined to attribute to nervousness in meeting a family who, if she had listened to the Lord, would have been her daughter's in-laws. But mercy! After she destroyed the wedding that she never wanted, her pride sprayed out in such quantity that she started looking like a total whack job.
KatieLyn's pride came as much more of a surprise. She had always presented herself as very willing and agreeable to consider a matter, but after her flight back home, she turned all diva and became as truculent as her mother. People have told us that it was good we didn't find this out about her after the wedding, but mostly they were trying to be nice. When we are honest about it, it was the prideful rebellion that changed her. She is a poorer person today for it; not unredeemable, but she has gone further down the road toward being a shrew that she'd ever gone before. As I said, she's become more like her mother. It's kind of sad because she wasn't becoming more like her mom's good qualities, just the defiant parts that "protect" the insecurities.
The most stunning example of a prideful retort was when Gwen all but accused me of— well, here is the quote:
"I know you feel God brought them together, maybe He did, just not for the reasons you may have originally thought." ~ Gwen
(sigh) Other than there being about half-a-dozen falsehoods packed into a single sentence, I don't know what to make of this. Her early church experience was in the Catholic church, and some Catholics believe that you have to be a priest or nun to know how to hear from God… Okay, I'm grasping straws trying to make excuses for her. The fact is, ignorance and unbelief are just oozing out of that statement.
First up, she does not "know" anything of the sort. I never told her. The Holy Spirit began revealing things about God's plan for my son's marriage three full months before Joe ever knew KatieLyn existed. I had quite a few two-way conversations with God that Gwen did not know about.
This also explodes the second thing; I did not "feel," I "heard." I know God's voice. cf John 10:27 Gwen must be projecting her own "feelings" here or something. But as for me, it was not a situation of feeling, and that charge does not apply.
The third thing, and some will think this is nit-picking, is the verb brought. I would not normally quibble about this, but it is not technically accurate. Because this is a teaching blog, it is important to represent God's actions as precisely as possible. No one was "brought" as might happen in a prearranged marriage. It was a process of discovery and of being led. This is an important distinction because there were many, many small confirmations all along the way. You could say there was a 'preponderance of evidence' that God confirmed His word.
Fourthly, the statement "maybe he did" means that she doesn't have a clue. She is guessing. It is just ridiculous that I, who heard from God and received multiple confirmations, should give any weight to someone who is still guessing. (Operating in pure faith would not require any confirmation. In hindsight, I realized that the abundance of confirmation was the Lord's provision to withstand the enemy attack. Ideally, hearing the Lord once should be all it takes, but the extra confirmation He gave has enabled me to stand without wavering.) There is no "maybe" about it.
The fifth thing wrong about Gwen's statement is its implication that God would be deceptive and have an "alternate reason" that He hid from me all along. That is really quite insulting to His character. Months later, I still find that suggestion appalling.
And fiction number six is that my thoughts now are different than my original ones. No, God did not change His mind. I did not change my mind about what He said. You did that, Gwen. You are the one who fretted, and doubted, and changed your mind, and have made the contradictory statements that I have documented throughout this blog.
So here we have a woman, Gwen, who was willing to steal joy, kill hope, and destroy God's plan for her daughter's life because she worked herself into a place where she could not hear the voice of the Lord and was too prideful to admit it. And KatieLyn went along with it.
There is no use crying over spilt milk. It is not my job to correct her and she would not cotton to it if I tried. Other than asking God to grant her grace, there is little that I can do. I can tell my story though, and perhaps it will help someone else. Please, don't let your pride and your need to control keep you from hearing God.
Our present earth life is a placement exam that will determine our assignment in eternity. Preventing other people from fulfilling the Lord's plan for their lives because you have "misgivings" is going to cause a loss of points. If you haven't heard from the Lord, keep your mouth shut so that your doubt won't make a mess that harms others. Spouting off your fear and doubt is like deliberately spilling the milk that causes them to slip. And by all means, humble yourself and call on Him until you do hear His voice. Then you will have something to say that is worth listening to.
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