Led by Misgivings

Before I can get into today's lesson on what the Bible says about being led by misgivings, you are going to need some further background on the mother of the runaway bride.  So let us start with this little sidebar (even though it is plum in the center):

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Pride, Prejudice, Presumption, or Prevarication

One of the most astounding discoveries in the slipstream of the runaway bride has been the dogmatic insistence, even to the point of prideful pronouncements, by the runaway's mother that she had misgivings from the beginning. Right after the wedding was called off, she said, "I won't lie, I had misgivings from the start.  I express (sic) them to both Katie and Joe."  Six weeks later in her final correspondence she wrote, "I had concerns about the relationship from the start," still crowing about her own prophetic ability to predict that the relationship would fall apart.

Of course, none of these recent claims match up with the face she wore last winter. Back in February, when KatieLyn and Joe were engaged after knowing each other for almost four months, she wrote: "Both (my husband) and I "knew" after our first date.  So we know it is possible to know that fast.  We feel at peace as well." Or this earlier one from January, "Meeting Joe over the holidays helped to put our concerns to rest.  Seeing how quickly Katie bonded with him, made it seem, for us, a God thing."

Can both be true? I cannot reconcile those two opposing viewpoints unless she is referring to her pre-judging of Joe, which doesn't reflect well on the mother of the runaway bride either. How would you syncretize them?

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I cannot fathom why anyone would be bragging about having "a disturbed feeling of fear." That happens to be the way my ©1970 edition of Webster's New World Dictionary defined "misgiving." Moreover, I don't understand why the mother of the runaway bride would be proudly admitting to me, the mother of the run-from groom, that she felt this way from the beginning. That is like saying, "I had suspicions (another of Webster's synonyms for 'misgiving') about your son before I ever met him."  Ah, there is nothing like adding a dash of effrontery to one's witness.

Maybe she just doesn't know that back in the days of Moses, the sin of presumption was a capital offense. I kid you not! Here, read it for yourself:

"The man who acts presumptuously (…) that man shall die; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel. Then all the people will hear and be afraid, and will not act presumptuously again. Deuteronomy 17:12, 13

I know! A death sentence is surprising to anyone except an OT theology geek. But presumption is serious stuff. Now maybe you can understand why Jonah in my "Runners" post (7/28) was so upset when God told him to prophesy to Ninevah and it didn't happen—it made his message seem presumptuous.

 Full disclosure: the part of the quote removed by the ellipsis goes, "by not listening to the priest who stands there to serve the LORD your God." New Covenant Christians would not go to a priest to hear God; while God's attitude toward acting presumptuously does not change, today we would be responsible for listening to our inner witness instead of the priest.

Perhaps more relevant to Western Society is the universal truth of Proverbs 18:13. "He that answereth a matter before he heareth, it is folly and shame unto him." If you like a modern translation better than the King James:  "The one who gives an answer before he listens— this is foolishness and disgrace for him." (Holman Christian Standard)

If you are feeling apprehensive with "misgivings," the Bible's admonition is to keep your mouth shut. It is incredibly important to take such concerns to the Lord in prayer and hear what He says before spouting off an errant answer. Yet this was what Mumsie did to KatieLyn; she gushed out every doubt, every reservation, and every misgiving that came into her mind. (It is my belief that the enemy was putting those thoughts in her mind, but that is the topic of a future post.)

If she had sought the Lord but the answer was slow in coming, then for the sake of her daughter, she ought to have been walking in love. Walking in love would mean:

•         Not being jealous of KatieLyn's romance—and some of that was going on.

•         Not acting unbecomingly—as in the previously mentioned spouting off.

•         Not seeking her own benefit—as was evidenced not only in her statements that Joe is going to 'take you away from me,' but also because KatieLyn was cooking, cleaning, and helping her mother at work.

•         Not being a provocation—I later learned that KatieLyn's mother had provoked arguments with her over Joe, which was a major part of KatieLyn's stress.

•         And Love hopes all things, there is no limit to its faith.  Funny thing is, Mumsie had very little faith in her daughter's ability to make a decision until after she came running home in the wee hours of the morning. After that, it was all, "I'm so proud of you for doing the right thing."  

It was this last betrayal, the being uber-supportive after-the-fact, that tipped us off to the depth of co-dependency between them. Before that, we had been aware that they shared a close relationship, but its controlling, destructive side had been largely kept hidden. (Another future-post topic.)

There was no trusting in the Lord going on. Both KatieLyn and her mother were leaning on their own understanding. We know this because apprehension and fear do not come from God. Doubt and fear are the devil's territory. God is not a God of tumult, 1 Cor. 14:33; and God did not give us a spirit of fear. 2 Tim. 1:7 (both Young's Literal Translation)

Since doubt and distress are satanic, it is not only sheer folly, but also perilous to use misgivings as the basis for advice. Being led by misgivings is not anything remotely close to being led by the Spirit of God. Being led by misgivings is being led by the devil himself.

There is a computer science quip that goes "Garbage in, garbage out."  It works with the human mind too. If the enemy can get you to put doubts into your mind and meditate on them, the product that comes out will be nonsensical and fearful. The Creator did not design mankind to operate with misgivings.