How KatieLyn Let Go of Her Faith

Satan destroys faith because without faith, it is impossible to please God. If he cannot get a believer to reject faith in Jesus' blood sacrifice for one's salvation, then he'll go for the next-best attack to steal faith for every other blessing.

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ. Romans 10:17
It doesn't get any more simply put that that. If you want to find faith, hear the anointed word of God. Faith is lost by listening to the lie.

This is how Eve lost faith in God's word—she listened to the lie of the serpent. Then she believed the serpent. It is how the Israelites lost faith in the destiny that the Lord had for them—they listened to the devil's lying whisperings that they could not defeat the giants in the land. Then they believed they could not. And this is how KatieLyn let go of her faith after the Lord told her who she was to marry—she listened to the lie. Then she believed the lie. Then she acted on the lie.

KatieLyn lost faith because she listened to a lie. If she had listened to the truth, she would have been free and open about it. But exactly like Eve, who was deceived by the lie and then tried to hide behind fig leaves, KatieLyn was deceived by a lie and tried to hide. The very fact that she was so desperate to hide adds credence to the statement that she believed a lie.

The Bible has a wealth of instruction on how to deal with such situations. It tells both what to do to keep from being taken in by a lie and what can be done to find a path to restoration if it has already happened. It is a spiritual warfare.

We have renounced secret and shameful ways. We do not practice deceit, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by open proclamation of the truth, we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 2 Corinthians 4:2

Based on this verse, step #1 is to renounce, reject, and remove oneself from the hidden dishonesty. Step #2 is to not walk in deceit nor falsify the word of God. Step #3 is by clearly setting forth the truth, commend yourself to everyone's conscience in the sight of God. There is really no way to bypass this process. The alternative is life in a second-rate holding pattern which requires very little faith and, correspondingly, pleases God very little.

It was a lie to believe that this marriage, which God was bringing together in a long listing of both spiritual works and physically observable ways, was not the right thing. It was a lie to believe that marriage is built on perfectly matched family lifestyles. It was a baseless lie for KatieLyn to say that Joe would grow to hate her. Now she is telling herself another lie: that she is happier being single. Singlehood was not the dream that the Lord placed in her heart. Besides, it goes against two scriptures:

Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." KatieLyn had wanted to be a helpmeet since her childhood. Do you think that a few days before the wedding God said, "Oops! I've been giving this woman the wrong dream for the past quarter century! I should have her call this off!"
No, I don't think that happened.

"Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. Do you think that a few days before the wedding God said," On second thought, I realize that Gwen needs a helper more than Joe does. I should have KatieLyn call this wedding off!"
No, I don't think that happened either. 

The devil meant to separate KatieLyn from her faith because he knew this would become a strong Christian marriage unless he stopped it. The way the devil often works is to first whisper lying thoughts and ideas. If you reject them as the lies that they are, his next step is usually to enlist the "support" of friends and trusted loved ones. The devil does not have a very big playbook; he is fairly predictable in his mechanizations. If he can't accomplish them directly, he uses people who are close to you. In KatieLyn's case, her mom was already a bit jealous and offended; plus, she was vacillating because she didn't really like what God was doing. Because Gwen wasn't "all in" with agreeing with God, she was the easiest person for Satan to recruit to help separate KatieLyn from her faith in God's plan.

KatieLyn began to listen to thoughts that went crosswise with both the scriptures and the witness of the Holy Spirit. She grew to have more faith in failure than she had in hearing God's plan. After she ran away, she started to claim that she had not put God first; that was true. However, she also said that Joe had drawn her away from God, and that is a big lie that she fell for. Joe did nothing but encourage her to get closer to God. It was the lies she believed that were separating her from God. KatieLyn threw away her faith in marriage, and then she threw away Joe.

KatieLyn desperately needed support in her life that encouraged her to follow God's plan. She was getting that from Joe, of course, but her mom was putting an "ulterior motives" spin on everything that was freaking KatieLyn out. Basically, Gwen didn't fully trust Joe, his family, or his friends, and she was sowing that fear into her daughter. She played their codependency like a violin; always giving KatieLyn enough freedom to fail on her own, but not enough assurance to stand on her own.

The Lesson
In some ways, I can look at the events as a test. Failing the test meant that even at 29 years old, KatieLyn wasn't emotionally strong enough to cut the apron strings and break free of the codependency. The really tragic part of it is that pre-runaway, the codependency had seemed to be a mild case. If you had asked me to describe it last spring, I'd have said the mother/daughter relationship seemed a little odd because at times Gwen treated her daughter in a way that would be age-appropriate if she were still fourteen, but I also thought that once KatieLyn moved out of her parent's house and gained confidence as a wife that things would get better. I would have called it a "slightly unhealthy" relationship.
Ask me today, post-runaway, and I will tell you that it is "deeply dysfunctional." Gwen read all her daughter's email and tried to use that to intimidate me. I found the whole triangulation thing to be bizarre. Gwen wrote to me saying my request that her daughter take responsibility for returning the wedding gifts which had been sent to my house had "cemented" KatieLyn's attitude that I was "mean" and that I "ought to remember that for next time." That rant struck me as Gwen's being rather deranged. I would love to see KatieLyn get out of her parent's house and into her own apartment.

My next post will describe the Fight of Faith in more detail, and the following post will function as a 'Part Two' to this one by taking a look at the book of Hebrews to see what it says about spiritual warfare that KatieLyn could have done—if she had wanted to stand firm in God's plan for her victory.