This one surprised me. Ever since the runaway bride took off in the middle of the night, I've been asking God to show me and tell me what went on. I've also been keeping my eyes and ears open to understand what settles in my heart as He answers. So it was a light-bulb moment for me when I was reading on an entirely different topic and the words popped out, "her identity."
Now it was as if a switch flipped, and I could see she had lost herself. The real KatieLyn was still there, of course. I'm not saying that she was schizo. But there was (a) the KatieLyn that feared failure as a wife, which must have seemed incredibly real considering her behavior, but which was only a hologram set there by the enemy; (b) the Katie that her mother saw and that she strove to conform to, which I believe had only 2-dimensional accuracy; Gwen was so myopic seeing Katie her child that her vision of KatieLyn as a capable independent woman was blurry; (c) the KatieLyn that had so much common sense that it was difficult for her to believe that dreams can come true in real life (with a bit of work) and are not limited to books on the fantasy shelf. I really wanted her to feel like a princess on her wedding day, but she chose not to. There are probably d, e, and f versions of her identity too, the KatieLyns that she is in front of friends, coworkers, and churchgoers. But the first three thefts of her identity are the ones that I can write about without indulging in speculation.
This might have been a valid reason to call off the marriage: the bride had not come to terms with who she was/is. I still believe that this was a "work in progress" that the Lord was in the process of attending to, however. God needed KatieLyn's cooperation. He needed her to sign on to His plan for her life, and she would have discovered herself by following the Lord's plan in marriage. I fully believe that.
But that did not happen. When the Holy Spirit prodded me with those words, it became evident that KatieLyn had/has an identity crisis—and it came as a result of external pressures being put on her.
Her God-given identity is still intact, but it was/is sorely suppressed.
The enemy got KatieLyn where he wanted her, suffering from her own case of mistaken identity!
Here are some evidences of the enemy attack on her identity that I alluded to in the previous paragraph: impaired by insecurity, hobbled by self-doubt, apron-strung to her mother, misled into curbing her strength, constrained by timidity, sporadically wilted by her elder sister's personality; and there may be others if I'd had opportunity to get to know her better. The point is that these are restraints that the enemy has used/is using to bind KatieLyn. The impaired, hobbled, apron-strung, curbed, constrained, and wilted KatieLyn is not the God-designed KatieLyn. They are not the spirit deep-down in KatieLyn. They were an enemy-imposed tempest in her soul.
Her authentic identity in Christ is not the one that she was seeing in the mirror the night that she ran back home through the darkness.
Her real identity is one of:
Ephesians 1:11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will.
Romans 8:37 In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Colossians 2:7 (She is) rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.*
Philippians 4:19 God will supply all (her) needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
KatieLyn is loved, called, enlightened, and equipped by God. There are dozens more scripture promises of who she is and what she is capable of. A link is included at the end of this post. These are what she needed for reinforcing her identity. Stewing about what could go wrong was self-destructive. If I had known what she was doing, I'd have told her to quit. (Nicely, of course.)
The Lesson
I am drawn back to the identity building scripture of Ephesians 2:10, highlighted above. We are God's handiwork. We should trust His craftsmanship! We were created for the purpose of doing good works! Sure, KatieLyn can still do some good things while sitting under her parents, but God had assigned her to a position of more authority, which she refused. Notice that God had prepared the work in advance. A place had been prepared for her to hit the ground running. There were good works, (not doubtful ones,) prepared beforehand so that she could walk in them. The work still needs to be done. Surely God can get someone else to fill the position (and receive the rewards), but that fact neither excuses nor resolves the runaway bride's problem of knowing who she is, listening to her (now-auxillary) assignment, and filling her place in life. She let the devil brainwash her and lie to her and keep her from her destiny once. She needs to cowgirl up, take the reins of her own life, head that horse in the direction that the Holy Spirit is pointing, and find out who she is so that she won't miss God again.
* The next verse issues a caution showing that the enemy frequently adds pressure, verse 18 continues, "See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ…" These are four directions attacks come from, (1) captivating ideas, (2) baseless deception, (3) traditions of men, (4) ideologies of the world. It is a mature Christian's responsibility to "see to it" that they are not a trap.
More scriptures on Knowing Who I Am in Christ may be found HERE
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