Idle Words

Matthew 12:36 in the King James Bible says, "But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment."
Several modern translations use "every careless word" instead of idle. In checking the lexicon against the original Greek, argós, we find that it can mean, inactive, barren, non-productive, lazy, and useless.
The Berean Literal Bible, the New American Standard, and the English Standard versions all translate the next verse, Matthew 12:37, as, "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

I am going to ask you, dear reader, to do something that is a bit difficult to do; please lay aside the threatening aspects of judgment and condemnation as we consider the "idle" part a little more deeply. Commentators and Bible scholars have further described 'idle words' as unproductive words, light conversation, suppositions, vain discourse, venting, frothy language, unprofitable talk, and words that are morally useless. They are words that men view as throwaways; such words meant little-to-nothing to the person who voiced them.

But the danger is not so much in how the words were thrown out there, but rather in how they are received. If the words destroy another person's faith, if they cause someone to leave the Lord's pathway, then they are a big deal. Jesus says the speaker will be held accountable for the destruction that his/her words have caused.

The lesson is that when one vocalizes his doubt and misgivings and it causes other people to miss God, Jesus is not going to agree that "I just needed to get it off my chest" is a satisfactory excuse.

All that is bad enough, but there is a second level of this that is even more serious when it causes your own family members to miss God's will.

Colossians 3:21 says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they might become discouraged."  The King James says, "provoke to anger," but the "to anger" part is not in the original. A literal translation is, "do not vex your children, lest they be disheartened." The child's response might not be anger; it might be depression, confusion, distress, reticence to move ahead, or even sorrow, depending upon the weight that he/she puts on the parent's words. Even if the parent didn't really mean it, even if the parent was having an emotional moment and spouting off in anger or fear, the scripture indicates that the destruction caused by the vexing words will be taken into account.
The point is, when a child becomes discouraged, or disheartened, or dispirited in following the will of God because of what the parent has said, the parent has a share in the blame for the child's disobedience.

In the case of the Matthew 12:36 warning, Jesus was speaking about a horizontal relationship between the brethren. In Colossians 3:21, there is a hierarchy where the parent is in authority over the child. This is why it is more serious when a father provokes his child.

In the case of the runaway bride, there was an adult child with emancipation issues. KatieLyn had come very, very close to overcoming these issues; and from everything that I saw, she would have succeeded if her parents had not disheartened her.

(After the initial provocation, there were two more steps, but I am only going to list them here because I want to stay on the 'idle words' topic: Once KatieLyn was dispirited, (a) Gwen impressed upon her the enormity of the decision to marry in a way that overwhelmed and caused fear in KatieLyn, and (b) then Gwen pulled back and put the decision entirely upon KatieLyn again, ramping up her fear even further.)

The Lesson
Today's lesson is personal. The antidote for dissuasion would have been for KatieLyn to hear encouraging words. She needed her family to support her decision to follow God's plan for her marriage. She did not get it from them. After she bolted in the middle of the night, I continued to pray for her. It was not so much a prayer that she would get back together with Joe, but mainly that she would come to see the truth and that God would be glorified in the end. After a couple weeks of prayer, the Lord impressed me to offer her a 'lifeline.' She will never be a strong woman of God in her own right until she resolves and overcomes the issues with her mother. It was clumsily done and she took it the wrong way, but I was obedient to the Lord: I sent words of encouragement that if she ever wanted help with this, I would help her in any way I could. With or without Joe as part of the picture, that offer will always stand. Until she resolves that, she is not a good candidate for marriage to anyone. I hope KatieLyn finds the courage to break free.