The Apostle Paul warned Timothy (1 Tim 4:1) that some would give heed to foul spirits and the teachings of devils. Whether you call them spirits of error, seducing spirits, deceiving spirits, or use the generic term demons, the specific classification does not matter too much to my objective here; only realize they are real and operate with the purpose of opposing God.
On the day that KatieLyn's parents came to meet us and "tour" Joe's house, the Holy Spirit warned me of a demonic presence that wanted to use jealousy as a means of attacking Gwen. Here is how it happened:
We own several acres, over half of which is wooded. I've made a trail that rises, falls, and curves around enough that it is roughly a third of a mile long. It is great for low-impact exercise, walking the dog, and just stepping out to take a nature break. KatieLyn's family was interested in seeing where Joe had grown up, so he took them for a walk there. As they were returning, I waited for them at the top of the trail, and because I had not had an opportunity to talk to KatieLyn one-on-one yet, I went over to her to begin a conversation.
Immediately, the Holy Spirit cautioned me to back off. I perceived that there was a malevolent spirit around that was attempting to plant a jealous thought in Gwen's mind. The best that I can describe it in the world's terms would be that I could 'feel Gwen's eyes on the back of my head.' The demon was whispering to her, attempting to plant a jealous thought that after the marriage, I would still have my son nearby, while she'd be four hours away from her daughter. So I backed off. It sort of surprised me at the time that the Holy Spirit's impression that I should to stop talking to KatieLyn was so strong. There had been no talk or body language cue from Gwen, anyone who was not "tuned in" to what the Spirit of God was telling me would never have noticed a thing. Perhaps God's speech to Cain in Genesis 4:7 makes the more accurate description of what happened at the trailhead—a demon was "crouching at the door," and its desire was for Gwen to turn jealous.
When I look back at how things changed after that, I think when I backed off, Gwen was able to master it for the moment. But like all demons, after a while it came back and tried again.
The foul spirit certainly had a lot to work with. For several reasons, most related to logistics and costs, KatieLyn and Joe had decided to have the wedding here, in his hometown, instead of the town where her family had lived for the past two years. I'm sure that Gwen could see the logic of having twice the wedding at half the expense by planning it for the groom's location, but I don't think the "good reasoning" ever meshed with her "emotional loss," and the demon succeeded in exploiting her feelings of being deprived of overseeing every detail of the wedding. Putting the facts on the table here, the bride's family had said they could budget $1,000 for their daughter's wedding, and they had already spent $100 of that on the luncheon that day.
And it wasn't only the wedding. The church here threw KatieLyn a well-attended bridal shower with a darling country garden theme. Her mother was invited, but did not attend. I am not aware of any shower being held in the town where KatieLyn lives with her parents. It would be not great stretch for a demon to suggest to Gwen that she is being left out of Joe's world. Of course, if that happened, it would be a twist of the truth; no one was slighting her on purpose. But once she was intentionally looking for trouble, the demons were there to accommodate her hunt. Maybe we should have asked KatieLyn to take one of the centerpieces back to her mom as a consolation prize; that would have been a nice gesture, but I didn't think of it until just now. And if KatieLyn had thought of it, she never asked.Satan is a destroyer. He wanted to destroy this engagement before it could become a strong Christian marriage. And he did.
At least we did not hand it over to him in one easy step, but it is clear to me how he worked his way in. He got Gwen to look for problems, deceiving her into believing that she was being wise and perceptive. Then, as the controller in a codependent relationship, she systematically destroyed KatieLyn's faith that the marriage could be successful.
What is doubly tragic from Joe's and my perspective, is that it now appears that what had been a borderline-serious codependency had now plunged into a full fledged mental health problem with the addition of the devilish triangulation of communication. Once the business issues of cancelling the wedding were completed, we could not be a part of of that diabolical control scheme. (Triangulation was covered more fully in earlier posts.) Not only could Joe not hear from KatieLyn, she would not be able to know that he still wanted to fight for her because he so strongly believed that this marriage was the will of God. So deep was Gwen's control over all contact with KatieLyn that Gwen was even flaunting the fact that she'd read all the emails between KatieLyn and me. (I'm not sure what she hoped to accomplish by revealing that—I'm not good with mind games.)
This video link to Joyce Meyer's Enjoying Everyday Life is a teaching about how the devil makes a battlefield of your mind so that you will destroy your own life. A lot of this relates to what KatieLyn was experiencing. The video talks about the dangers of being led by emotions instead of being led by the Word of the Lord. Ironically, my chief confirmation that this message was right on target came as a result of Gwen reading my email to KatieLyn! Gwen shot back, "Katie isn't listening to devils!" Oh, the terrible deception... KatieLyn wasn't listening directly to the demon because her mother was triangulating for it.
UPDATE: I have heard some jealous-sounding feedback on my choice to link to Joyce Meyer. My response is this: When God uses you to help and heal as many women as He has used her to help, then and only then will I listen to your whining about how she spends her money. If she had written romance novels, no one would be carping about it. It is a good, biblically sound message that I linked.
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