Silly Excuse #3

 Don't waste your time looking for posts titled "Silly Excuse #1" or "Silly Excuse #2." They do not exist. That is, those titles do not exist here at Lessons from a Runaway Bride; the excuses, unfortunately, do exist. They were covered in earlier posts, but I never used a numbering system until now. Allow me to rectify that:
 

Silly excuse #1 - Said by KatieLyn, "I was putting Joe ahead of Jesus." To which I pointed out that the appropriate solution is to re-sort one's priorities so that Jesus comes first. Cancelling a wedding does not necessarily solve this problem, it just makes a new and bigger mess.
 

Silly excuse #2 - Said by Gwen, "She was in love with the idea of marriage, not with Joe." To which I pointed out that when marriage is God's plan for one's life, being in love with that plan is a good thing. And because KatieLyn said many times that she was in love with Joe; we are puzzled as to why her mom thinks KatieLyn is an idiot who did not know that she wasn't in love.
 

Silly excuse #3 - Also given by Gwen, this excuse is such a doozy that it fully deserved its own title and discussion. This is the excuse where KatieLyn's mother, full out, point blank, claims that the Lord gave her a false sense of peace in order to manipulate her daughter. Here is the exact quote, copied and pasted straight from the email with no editing:  

We believe that the Lord finally gave me the peace I received so Katie could come to the conclusion on her own.

I know. It was hard for me to know whether to laugh or gasp horror-struck. It's tough because the most honest response—a chortle with an undertone of aghast—cannot be in compliance with good manners and etiquette.

Let's review the timeline, and as we do, take note how the part of Gwen's excuse that "the Lord finally gave me the peace" about the marriage does not line up with what she said during the first two months of the courtship. Here is the timeline—
• January 1st - Joe met KatieLyn's family and within a week he had officially asked her father and received permission to court KatieLyn, which means they began actively exploring the possibility of marriage.  On January 14th, Gwen wrote, "Meeting Joe over the holidays helped to put our concerns to rest. Seeing how quickly Katie bonded with him, made it seem, for us, a God thing."

• February - Joe tells KatieLyn's parents that he would like to propose on Valentine's Day. They agree. He does. KatieLyn says "Yes!" One week later, February 21st, Gwen emails me this: "Both (my husband) and I "knew" after our first date.  So we know it is possible to know that fast.  We feel at peace as well."
• March 14th - KarieLyn and her parents visit Joe's house. Gwen's meltdown begins. (At some point in the near future, I will be posting "Demon at the Trailhead," which also happened on this date.)
• Mid-March to mid-May - After two solid months of attempting to stop the wedding by grinding KarieLyn down, by strategically inserting her 'concerns,' by idle-word mouthing-off about her misgivings, by indulging in a pattern of continual bickering, by scaring KarieLyn with the enormity of the decision (It's for life!), and by provoking fights about KarieLyn's plans for marriage; after all these strikes at KarieLyn's faith, Gwen had an epiphany! She said, "the Lord finally gave me the peace I received so Katie could come to the conclusion on her own."
 

No. No. No. NO! Not my God. My God does not lie. He would not give Gwen a false peace about a marriage that was not His will. He would not tell KatieLyn one thing in January and February and then capriciously change His mind a couple of months later! And He most certainly would not give Gwen peace so that KatieLyn could be tricked into a new truth via reverse psychology!  

The coup de grâce, Gwen's deathblow was this: She credits the Lord with using deception to bring about KatieLyn's "right choice"in the end, which (Gwen believes) was to tear asunder the relationship that the Lord had put together.
 

No ma'am. No. That is heresy. That is entirely contrary to the nature of God. God did not cause Gwen to believe a lie so that KatieLyn could arrive at "the truth" on her own. Who is the "we" that believes this?
 

I could characterize Excuse #1 and Excuse #2 as using Malibu Barbie© Logic. They are shallow and trite excuses. Excuse #3 is full-bore devilish. Gwen's notion that God would give her peace in order to destroy love is heretical. It pales at "silly" and goes straight to "foolish."

During the engagement period—during the time that I knew KatieLyn was getting some flak from her mom, but didn't know the magnitude of the fighting—I had wondered why Gwen wasn't seeking the Lord instead of fussing with her daughter. If she had simply asked God, He would have told her the plan that He'd already revealed to KatieLyn and Joe. In hindsight, I think Gwen resisted that, didn't like it, and wouldn't accept it.  

Gwen has some serious issues when it comes down to not allowing her adult children to transition into the place where God has called them in life.  Bible teacher Kay Arthur writes, "We give birth, then pour out our lives, nurturing, feeding, clothing, disciplining, and educating our children. Somewhere along the line, we forget that it was God who gave them to us ... He created them for His pleasure primarily, not ours."  Arthur examines how Mary had to release Jesus into His own ministry, yet as his mother, was still able to maintain a close relationship with Him. You can read what she wrote about this on her own blog by clicking here.

Jesus knew the importance of being about His Father's affairs. Mary, His mother, came to terms with it. It could not have been easy.  Each of us is put on earth to walk out God's plan. Parents must not discourage or impede their children from fulfilling their God-given assignment. Parents should be checking their own assignment to see when it is time to release their children back to the Lord.

The Lesson
Today's lesson shows how a parent's failure to obey God can result in a runaway bride. Gwen's "final peace" did not come from the Lord. The devil pulled back and left Gwen alone, knowing that the destruction had already been done in KatieLyn. And that's a fact.
Gwen had a false peace because the devil had stopped agitating her misgivings. We can know this was a false peace because Gwen did not repent. Psalm 119:130 says, "The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding," but Gwen did not gain understanding; she did not experience the regret that leads to repentance. She did not acknowledge KatieLyn's having heard God, nor did Gwen ever have a godly peace of having heard for herself.