Led by Misgivings

Before I can get into today's lesson on what the Bible says about being led by misgivings, you are going to need some further background on the mother of the runaway bride.  So let us start with this little sidebar (even though it is plum in the center):

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Pride, Prejudice, Presumption, or Prevarication

One of the most astounding discoveries in the slipstream of the runaway bride has been the dogmatic insistence, even to the point of prideful pronouncements, by the runaway's mother that she had misgivings from the beginning. Right after the wedding was called off, she said, "I won't lie, I had misgivings from the start.  I express (sic) them to both Katie and Joe."  Six weeks later in her final correspondence she wrote, "I had concerns about the relationship from the start," still crowing about her own prophetic ability to predict that the relationship would fall apart.

Of course, none of these recent claims match up with the face she wore last winter. Back in February, when KatieLyn and Joe were engaged after knowing each other for almost four months, she wrote: "Both (my husband) and I "knew" after our first date.  So we know it is possible to know that fast.  We feel at peace as well." Or this earlier one from January, "Meeting Joe over the holidays helped to put our concerns to rest.  Seeing how quickly Katie bonded with him, made it seem, for us, a God thing."

Can both be true? I cannot reconcile those two opposing viewpoints unless she is referring to her pre-judging of Joe, which doesn't reflect well on the mother of the runaway bride either. How would you syncretize them?

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I cannot fathom why anyone would be bragging about having "a disturbed feeling of fear." That happens to be the way my ©1970 edition of Webster's New World Dictionary defined "misgiving." Moreover, I don't understand why the mother of the runaway bride would be proudly admitting to me, the mother of the run-from groom, that she felt this way from the beginning. That is like saying, "I had suspicions (another of Webster's synonyms for 'misgiving') about your son before I ever met him."  Ah, there is nothing like adding a dash of effrontery to one's witness.

Maybe she just doesn't know that back in the days of Moses, the sin of presumption was a capital offense. I kid you not! Here, read it for yourself:

"The man who acts presumptuously (…) that man shall die; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel. Then all the people will hear and be afraid, and will not act presumptuously again. Deuteronomy 17:12, 13

I know! A death sentence is surprising to anyone except an OT theology geek. But presumption is serious stuff. Now maybe you can understand why Jonah in my "Runners" post (7/28) was so upset when God told him to prophesy to Ninevah and it didn't happen—it made his message seem presumptuous.

 Full disclosure: the part of the quote removed by the ellipsis goes, "by not listening to the priest who stands there to serve the LORD your God." New Covenant Christians would not go to a priest to hear God; while God's attitude toward acting presumptuously does not change, today we would be responsible for listening to our inner witness instead of the priest.

Perhaps more relevant to Western Society is the universal truth of Proverbs 18:13. "He that answereth a matter before he heareth, it is folly and shame unto him." If you like a modern translation better than the King James:  "The one who gives an answer before he listens— this is foolishness and disgrace for him." (Holman Christian Standard)

If you are feeling apprehensive with "misgivings," the Bible's admonition is to keep your mouth shut. It is incredibly important to take such concerns to the Lord in prayer and hear what He says before spouting off an errant answer. Yet this was what Mumsie did to KatieLyn; she gushed out every doubt, every reservation, and every misgiving that came into her mind. (It is my belief that the enemy was putting those thoughts in her mind, but that is the topic of a future post.)

If she had sought the Lord but the answer was slow in coming, then for the sake of her daughter, she ought to have been walking in love. Walking in love would mean:

•         Not being jealous of KatieLyn's romance—and some of that was going on.

•         Not acting unbecomingly—as in the previously mentioned spouting off.

•         Not seeking her own benefit—as was evidenced not only in her statements that Joe is going to 'take you away from me,' but also because KatieLyn was cooking, cleaning, and helping her mother at work.

•         Not being a provocation—I later learned that KatieLyn's mother had provoked arguments with her over Joe, which was a major part of KatieLyn's stress.

•         And Love hopes all things, there is no limit to its faith.  Funny thing is, Mumsie had very little faith in her daughter's ability to make a decision until after she came running home in the wee hours of the morning. After that, it was all, "I'm so proud of you for doing the right thing."  

It was this last betrayal, the being uber-supportive after-the-fact, that tipped us off to the depth of co-dependency between them. Before that, we had been aware that they shared a close relationship, but its controlling, destructive side had been largely kept hidden. (Another future-post topic.)

There was no trusting in the Lord going on. Both KatieLyn and her mother were leaning on their own understanding. We know this because apprehension and fear do not come from God. Doubt and fear are the devil's territory. God is not a God of tumult, 1 Cor. 14:33; and God did not give us a spirit of fear. 2 Tim. 1:7 (both Young's Literal Translation)

Since doubt and distress are satanic, it is not only sheer folly, but also perilous to use misgivings as the basis for advice. Being led by misgivings is not anything remotely close to being led by the Spirit of God. Being led by misgivings is being led by the devil himself.

There is a computer science quip that goes "Garbage in, garbage out."  It works with the human mind too. If the enemy can get you to put doubts into your mind and meditate on them, the product that comes out will be nonsensical and fearful. The Creator did not design mankind to operate with misgivings.  

Led by Circumstances

One of the most heretical teachings from my youth was the doctrine of being "Led by Doors." It was fairly common that during the teen fellowship testimony time, someone would say God opened this door or that He shut that door. I realize that doors have an archetypal symbolism, but what my friends really meant was that they were looking at circumstances and labeling them a move of God. Often, it was no such thing. The devil knows how to open and close doors too.

Gradually, over the years, the Spirit of God has led me into more truth and enlightenment. I no longer auto-interpret an 'open door' as a signal to move right ahead, nor do I mechanically see a 'closed door' as a confirmation that I ought to give up.  So radical has been this change that these days I am just as likely to take the attitude, "It's a mountain; I can talk to it," (cf Mk 11:23, Mt 21:21) as I once was to passively shake my head and mumble, "I guess God doesn't want me to have that."   

Consequently, one of my lessons from KatieLyn, the runaway bride, was a fresh look at how much I have reformed in the intervening years. While it was not really a surprise to see her making the same kinds of mistakes that I used to make, it was jarring to see how great a risk that my being 'Led by Circumstances' had been. I wonder at the countless blessings I have surely missed by not having taken the courage to walk by faith! 

The Led-by-Doors doctrine is based primarily on two scripture passages, and the true context of both is closer to God's judgment than God's guidance. In Isaiah 22:22 where we read, "what he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open," Shebna's authority was transferred to Eliakim because of his pride, a punishing judgment. In Revelation 3:7, 8, when Jesus says, "I have put before you an open door which no one can shut," the church at Philadelphia is being given a little more authority because they have not denied Him and have kept His word, a rewarding judgment.

Paul uses the door metaphor about three times in his canonical epistles. In 1 Cor. 16:9 he wrote that a wide door for effective service in Ephesus had opened to him.  In 2 Cor. 2: 12, 13 he reported that there was a door open for the gospel in Troas as well, but his inward witness overrode the favorable circumstances that he saw there; he soon followed that inner leading and went on to Macedonia. In Col. 4:3, Paul writes about a closed up situation and is asking for prayer that God would open a door, so clearly he was not assuming that a closed door meant that he should give up. He was not listening to the voice of circumstances.

God is not ordinarily in the door opening and closing business as a way of communicating His will. More commonly, it is man's responsibility to open doors, and often, Jesus is the door.

If you look to circumstances for God's guidance, you are probably going to mess up. If you go to a counselor for guidance, and the counselor is looking at circumstances, you have exponentially decreased your ability to hear God. God does not lead His children by easily seen circumstances of need, human logic, or fear. 

A negative circumstance may be something else entirely:

• It could be a test. Planet Earth is one big testing ground to see who will be faithful, who will make it to heaven, or who will reject the Creator. If a negative circumstance is actually a test, then you need to pass it.

• It could be your fault! The Lord's reaping and sowing principle is an equal opportunity grower, so if you have put bad seed out there and the crop is flourishing, you need to repent.

• It could be an attack of the devil. These attacks can be sneaky. They are often filled with emotion, either good or bad. Something else may look safer or be more enticing (deceived by good emotion), or it can be an overwhelming pressure or depression (deceived by painful emotion). Bullying and persecution are from the devil; God's Spirit does not pressure or try to control a person. When it is the devil, you need to resist him.

I have sincerely taken a step back and analyzed what happened to KatieLyn as objectively as I possibly can. I think she was the victim of a Triple Whammy! (1) There was definitely a satanic attack that caused her hysteria. (I am trusting her mother to be an accurate reporter on this. We never witnessed her panic, but her mom said she got "hysterical" when she was ready to bolt.) If she was overwrought, it was not God doing it and she was not herself. The devil hates marriage and would certainly try to stop a godly one. (2) There is also a clear pattern of sowing and reaping. Faith-robbing words of unbelief had been sown into her life. And even though she had been in training to fulfill her dream of becoming a wife since she was about four years old, she doubted her own ability. (3) I strongly suspect that the Lord allowed this as a test, which she flunked. She had prayed for and received an answer to prayer; she had known the will of God, but she tried walking it out by sight instead of by faith and stumbled. She was inexperienced in resisting the devil and instead of him doing the fleeing, he ran her off instead. 

I'm not sure that KatieLyn ever really looked at the doors that had been flung wide open for her: doors of career opportunity, ministry opportunity, social opportunity, and nest-feathering opportunity. Her tunnel vision was focused on the doors that she could slam shut all by herself. For someone who characteristically looked on the sunny side of life, she was fixated on the billows. She once told Joe that she was afraid of becoming like her mother; it seems that she did.

Sinking Into the Things of This World

This article was published in Charisma Magazine a couple days ago: A Word for Those Fearing Doom and Gloom

As I was reading it, I was struck by how much of it matched the tale of KatieLyn, the runaway bride.  The author relates a prophetic dream he had where, as he set out to do his chores, he saw people sinking in quicksand on his farm.  The quicksand represented the things of this world. The people who he saw were the ones that God has assigned him to help rescue, so, of course, that part of the dream was specific to him. But it did offer insight that applies in a broader scope as well.

While he was busy with the rescue operations, a sheep ran past, and it was soon captured by three demonic beings and involuntarily returned to the barn. In a perfect world, the people who were being rescued would have been watching out for the sheep, but they were mired in the things of this world.

The author, Joe Joe Dawson, wrote:

 As they carried the sheep back toward the stables and barn I followed after them. When I got close to the barn door I heard a voice say, "We will kill some, steal some and make the other to act dead." Immediately the first part of John 10:10 came to mind: the thief comes to steal, and to kill and to destroy.

That is a picture of what happened to KatieLyn. Demonic forces carried her back to the barn, back to where she'd come from. Those who should have been helping her get to her new pasture were caught up in the things of this world, and consequently, were giving her worldly advice. The enemy was there to steal her away and force her to play dead, and he did.

There is a second half to John 10:10: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

When the thief stole KatieLyn away from God's plan for her life, he also took her abundance and provision. She is currently playing dead by acting as if the past year never happened. The people who looked only at their worldly doubts and refused to believe the Lord's abundant provision are not the people she needs as her comforters.  When you believe lies, you can't get it fixed.