Many Hands Make Spoiled Broth

Today's title is a mashup of two common cliches:

Many hands make light work.

Too many cooks spoil the broth.

Both statements are true when they are applied in the proper context, and yet when put side by side, they seem of conflict with each other.

Scripture can be twisted out of context with similar effect. When that happens, it is easy for a person to be in bondage to a false paradigm.

I believe this explains much of what went on with KatieLyn. We know that when Christ (the Word) was tempted in the wilderness, Satan used scripture (the Word) in his attack. Fortunately, Jesus rightly divided the Word and did not fall for the intended deception.

There was a Star Trek episode that used this plot device:  A powerful alien bot seemed unstoppable until the last five minutes of the show when Captain Kirk pointed out an error in its reasoning. Since the bot was programmed to destroy everything that was illogical, it had to perform a suicidal roboticide.

Similarly, KatieLyn could not find the truth between apparently competing scripture and killed her own wedding.

Here was her dilemma:

Ephesians 6:2
Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you and that you may be long-lived on the earth.

Matthew 19:29
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for the sake of My name will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.

Her mother had been manipulatively whining for months that KatieLyn was going to leave; that Joe was doing something cruel by "taking KatieLyn away" from her.

Four days before the ordained wedding, KatieLyn chose to not oppose her mother. In doing so, she opposed God's plan for her life and put the Whammy on a lot of other people. Now God will have to fix that for them.

Notice that while the leaving houses and family scripture speaks of inheriting eternal life, the honoring parents one has a promise of  "long-lived on the earth." The Gospel of Mark even adds the death angle:

Mark 7:10
For Moses said, Honor your father and your mother; and, Whoever curses father or mother, let him die the death.

She did not realized that these scriptures were not in conflict. Here is the part she missed:

Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.

The Lesson
If she had first sought the Kingdom of God instead of her mother's advice, then KatieLyn would have found what God told her in the first place: That He had ordained this wedding.

Instead, the sorry truth is that KatieLyn failed her time of testing.  She demonstrated that she could not trust either God or Joe as much as she trusted her mother. 

A Real Witch & Ghost Story 👻

1 Samuel  28

The cast:
Samuel, a prophet, deceased
Saul, the king
woman at Endor who had a familiar spirit

In those days the Philistines gathered their forces for war...  
Now Samuel was dead, and all Israel had mourned for him and buried him in his home town.
Saul had expelled the mediums and necromancers from the land.
When Saul saw the army of the Philistines, he was afraid, and his heart trembled greatly.
When Saul inquired of the LORD, the LORD did not answer him, neither by dreams nor by prophets.
Saul disguised himself by putting on different clothes and came to the woman at night.
Saul said, "Conjure up for me, please, and bring up whomever I name. 
But the woman said to him, "You surely know what Saul has done, how he has killed the mediums
        and spiritists in the land. Why are you setting a trap for me to get me killed?"
Saul vowed to her by the LORD, saying, "As the LORD lives, no punishment shall come upon you for this thing. ... Bring up Samuel for me."

The rest of the story is copied at the end of this article if you need to review.  Lord Byron said of this account in scripture: 

    "I have always thought this the finest and most finished witch scene that ever was written or conceived, and you will be of my opinion if you consider all the circumstances of the actors of the case, together with the gravity, simplicity and density of the language. It beats all the ghost scenes I have ever read."

Byron was certainly correct in his observation about the "density of language." Many lessons are packed into a relatively short narrative.  Today, I want to point out some similarities between KatieLyn and Saul:
1. They both started out well, loving and serving God.
2.  They both were subjected to outside attack; Saul by the Philistines and Katielyn by a brigade of demonic doubt.
3.  They both became afraid as terror filled their heart.
4.  They were both in a position where they could no longer hear God.
5.  They both made really stupid decisions when they tried to work around that in the natural.
6.  They both went and did things that in former times when they had been walking with the Lord, they had vowed never to do.
7.  They both resorted to deception in an attempt to get out of a bad situation.
8.  They both lost Big-time because of it. Saul lost his life, and KatieLyn lost what God had planned to be the love of her life. 

The Lesson
Today, KatieLyn is stuck in a dead zone. She is in a relationship where she has to work at being loved; love is no longer lavished upon her. Satan leaves her alone now because he no longer has to work very hard at keeping her out of the center of God's plan. Her own cocktail of pride and poor self-image keeps herself in a "comfortable religion" where she doesn't have to deal with audacious ventures of faith.  



1 Samuel 28:12-17 The story continues...

 12And when the woman saw Samuel, she cried with a loud voice: and the woman spake to Saul, saying, Why hast thou deceived me? for thou art Saul. 13And the king said unto her, Be not afraid: for what sawest thou? And the woman said unto Saul, I saw gods ascending out of the earth. 14And he said unto her, What form is he of? And she said, An old man cometh up; and he is covered with a mantle. And Saul perceived that it was Samuel, and he stooped with his face to the ground, and bowed himself.

15And Samuel said to Saul, Why hast thou disquieted me, to bring me up? And Saul answered, I am sore distressed; for the Philistines make war against me, and God is departed from me, and answereth me no more, neither by prophets, nor by dreams: therefore I have called thee, that thou mayest make known unto me what I shall do. 16Then said Samuel, Wherefore then dost thou ask of me, seeing the LORD is departed from thee, and is become thine enemy? 17And the LORD hath done to him, as he spake by me: for the LORD hath rent the kingdom out of thine hand, and given it to thy neighbour, even to David:

Christmas Shopping

Book Lady Necklace ← This is a link for purchase.  But if you are viewing this years from now after the merchandise has changed, the necklace looked like this:

This is a fairly good representation of KatieLyn, who refuses to interact with the real world.

Where KatieLyn Messed Up

Before I tell you where KatieLyn messed up, I would like to briefly review some of the ways that Satan used or attempted to use what God had said to manipulate reality to his own end.

1. Doubt
Satan used doubt with Eve. He got her to question God.
Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”

2. Physical Need
Satan appealed to Jesus' appetite after a forty-day fast.
Matthew 4:3   And the tempter came and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.” 

3. An appeal to ego. 
Satan tried to bribe Jesus, who is the Word, with an appeal to vanity by misappropriating the word.
Luke 4:9, 10 and (Satan) said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here; for it is written..."

4. Power and Purpose
Jesus came to preach the kingdom; Satan had a kingdom to barter.  
Matthew 4:8, 9 Again, the devil took Him to a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory;  and he said to Him, “All these things I will give You, if You fall down and worship me.”

Satan used a cocktail mix on KatieLyn in that elements of all these played into her decision to run away in the middle of the night. But the biggie was #3. She needed to be "perfect" and Satan was right there to back up the destruction with misappropriated scripture.

We know the Ten Commandments are important.  We know that Paul taught on this subject in his letter to Ephesus. Ephesians 6:1-3 says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2'Honor your father and mother' (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3'that it may go well with you and that you may be long-lived on the earth.'"

Jesus taught on this subject in Matthew 15:4, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may be long-lived on the earth."

But what does one do with Jesus teaching in Luke 18:29, 30

"Truly I tell you," Jesus said to them, "no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life."

Compare with Matthew 19:29

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for the sake of My name will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life."

And Mark 10:29,30

"Truly I tell you," said Jesus, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for My sake and for the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life."

God's will and God's plan for KatieLyn was for her to leave her mother's home.  Satan got her to focus so much on honoring her mom that he got her to run away from her 100x blessing!

BUT IT DOES NOT STOP THERE...

After KatieLyn threw Joe under the bus by choosing her mother's desire over God's plan for their lives, a couple of new areas opened up that Satan can use to attack.

The Lesson
This is an important less on because it shows how one unrepentant sin opens additional doors for satanic attack.
1. It opens the door to taking offense. KatileLyn knows this, and the proof is that she "predicted" Joe would grow to hate her. He has not, but in the history of the way she grew up, taking offense and the growth of hate that follows was "normal" for her. That is what she normally would have expected.
That is not what happened; God directed a different outcome.
2. It allowed Satan to bind her in a dysfunctional state where she is experiencing a personality disorder. The proof of this is that she cannot talk about or face what happened. She has to shut out Joe completely in order to function at all. This is not living a full life.KatieLyn still feels a need to be perfect, but the minute that she faces Joe, she realizes that she made a mistake by running. The way she deals is to hide him away where she is not at risk of seeing this imperfection. Willfully blind.
3. It allows Satan to deepen her codependent personality and take it to another downward level. God had planned to raise her up from this in her marriage, but now she is stuck either being single, or worse, marrying into an abnormal power structure. Let me explain:
The thing that KatieLyn's mom, Gwen, did not like about Joe was that she (Gwen) could not control him. She was also offended that she had not been able to participate in choosing him for Katie. These two strikes were heavy against Joe; however, it is easy to see why they were part (one of many) of the reason that God would have chosen to put KatieLyn and Joe together—she needs to establish independence from her mom, and a man with these traits will help strengthen her do that. If KatieLyn marries someone that her mom 100% approves of without first resolving the codependency between Katie and her mother, it means that Gwen is satisfied with the control she has over KatieLyn's husband. It is spiritually and psychologically unhealthy because all of their happiness is dependent upon satisfying The Powers That Be.
4.  Satan can continue to exploit her self-pride. KatieLyn has worked very hard to convince herself that she "did the right thing" by running away. Although, we know that if she had been successful in REALLY knowing this, then she would have no problem in facing Joe and she would not have felt threatened by his friends.  Satan now has her in bondage that is deeper than before because she has tasted the power of rebellion. 

The Silent Treatment - a double edged sword

DRAFT -  I chose to publish this draft even though I have not finished the article because in the end it needs to fit the sequence in this spot.   


In modern day psychology, the silent treatment in a relationship is simply a person's way of exacting control over another person. The person giving the cold shoulder has all the power and creates a situation wherein all the attention is focused on him (or her), and what he perceives as being wrong. The silent treatment is often given as a form of punishment in a relationship and psychologists consider the silent treatment as a form of abuse.
Silent treatment is abuse because:¹

• It is passive-aggressive behavior intended to hurt the other person
• It shows a lack of caring, a lack of respect and a lack of value
• It can hurt the other person more than anything else you do, depending on the other person
• It can contribute to depression, anxiety and low self-esteem

For many people, the silent treatment is the worst form of emotional abuse.

 http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/the-silent-treatment-are-you-getting-the-cold-shoulder/

Personality Disorders and Emotionally Abusive Women

Who could have guessed it would come to this? When I started this blog, I'd never have guessed I would end up talking about personality disorders and abusive women. But when I started researching that topic for an article about Hilary Clinton, I began finding tons of overlapping information.

When I match the research to my observations, I have to conclude that KatieLyn has a borderline personality disorder and her mother Gwen is emotionally abusive.  I will let the literature speak for itself:

Borderline personality disorder descriptions

  - this disorder involves intense and unstable relationships, self-perception and moods. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) frantically avoid abandonment, feel inappropriate anger and may be paranoid. They can be at either extreme, too impulsive or too cautious. They have stress-related paranoid thoughts.

  -  is a serious mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning. These experiences often result in impulsive actions and unstable relationships. A person with BPD may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from only a few hours to days. (nih.gov)

   - is a serious mental illness that centers on the inability to manage emotions effectively. The disorder occurs in the context of relationships: sometimes all relationships are affected, sometimes only one. It usually begins during adolescence or early adulthood.

   - While some persons with BPD are high functioning in certain settings, their private lives may be in turmoil. These may include frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, and/or a pattern of intense love/hate relationships with family, friends, and loved ones.

I have highlighted the portions of the descriptions that I have observed in KatieLyn.

Officially recognized in 1980 by the psychiatric community, BPD is more than two decades behind in research, treatment options, and family psycho-education compared to other major psychiatric disorders. BPD has historically met with widespread misunderstanding and blatant stigma.

KatieLyn fits many of these traits. She would make comments that she never felt good enough. Joe would try and reassure her that she was. I thought then and continue to believe today that if she had moved out of her parent's home, she would have gained and instant boost in self-confidence. It seemed like every time she got a little victory that her mother would subtly undermine it. 

 ♦  •  ♦  •  ♦  •  ♦  •  ♦  

Characteristics of Emotionally Abusive Women

Extreme jealousy - The abusive woman usually sees jealousy as a "sign of love" which can manifest as either possessive or vengeful, or a combination of both. 
Sense of entitlement - The abusive woman may feel entitled because of her position eg. I was here first, or because of her accomplishment eg. I did all this for you.
Having unrealistic expectations or demands - Frequently the victim of the abuse is regarded as subservient to the abuser. 
Poor communication skills – abusers may have difficulty expressing themselves because they lack the skills to communicate or because they are intimidated by the subject.
Create isolation – an abuser will work to cut off ties to others to keep the victim completely centered on the abuser.
Use drinking to cope with stress - Abusers drink at rates higher than the general population, but those who do not may have alternate addictions. 
Are hypersensitive – abusers often take the slightest action as a personal attack.
Appear charming to others – abusers tend to hide all their abusive behaviors in other scenarios so that the victim is the only one that sees their abusive side.

I have highlighted the portions of the descriptions that I have observed in Gwen.

The first one on the list, extreme jealousy, nailed it for me. Gwen was extremely jealous of Katie's relationship, and yes, she couched all her negative comments as being "loving" wisdom and concern. Basically, they were all from the pits of hell to steal and destroy. She used the "entitlement card" of being the mother.  After KatieLyn ran home in the middle of the night, Gwen shut down all outside communication and further isolated KatieLyn. Sure, she claims it was Katie's choice, but by that point all of Katie's choices were to please mommy, so as my economics teacher was fond of saying, "Same difference."

The Lesson
Seeing these lists from websites that offer support and promote public awareness of personality disorders and abuse has reinforced the insights that I've been digging out of scriptures for the past year and a half.  When I began my quest, I didn't have labels for the mix of things that I was seeing. I do now.




The National Education Alliance for BPD reports that  BPD affects 5.9% of adults (about 14 million Americans). 

Shunning

“M. de Charlus made no reply and looked as if he had not heard, which was one of his favourite forms of rudeness.”
― Marcel Proust, Sodom and Gomorrah  

 M. de Charlus and KatieLyn the Runaway Bride have something in common: a favorite rudeness.

Chronic rudeness by intentionally ignoring someone, as opposed to an occasional distracted oversight, is a form of emotion abuse. It is premeditated. It is almost always associated with rebellion.

Certainly at the beginning, abusers tend to be able to turn their abusive behavior on and off when convenient. This is how they can hide as "good church people." But it is a  façade, an outward misrepresentation intended to conceal something unpleasant.

Such an emotionally abusive person seeks power and control. KatieLyn was power-tripping by calling off the wedding. She got a rush out of it. She'd lived her entire life craving her mother's approval; and wow—this was the way she could get it!  She knew her mom didn't want her to leave. Everyone knew Gwen, mother of the runaway, did not want her daughter to leave!  The very day that I met KatieLyn's mom, within the first hour she was lamenting that Joe was "going to take KatieLyn away" from her!   So by calling off the wedding, KatieLyn could FINALLY win her mother's approval. ...or did she?

Treating persons as if they don't exist is rude. Treating persons as if they don't exist is demeaning. Treating persons as if they do not exist is not at all godlike.

At a workshop on the Neurobiology of Psychological Torture, Professor Almerindo Ojeda, UC Davis, said that social rejection has been established to cause psychological damage and has been categorized as torture.  Jonathan Haidt, University of Edinburgh, has written a paper that categorizes the rejection as punishment. Either way, whether KatieLyn was trying to torture Joe or punish him, her behavior is cruel and was a form of aggression, even though no physical abuse was involved.

Basically, KatieLyn's ongoing refusal to even acknowledge Joe's existence, let alone any attempt to normalize a mature, Christian relationship has become both a concern and an indication that she is not dealing with her decision in a healthful manner.

It might be appropriate to ask the classic question here: WWJD?

As I look for Bible clues on this, it becomes clear that Jesus did not ignore or shun people. The primary examples of shunning have to do with shunning evil. “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding, Job 28:28”

The closest thing to this topic that Jesus taught is found in Matthew 18 

15 If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

But this is exactly backwards from what happened. If KatieLyn thinks that she was sinned against, then she is supposed to make three ever-widening attempts to fix it. Instead, by being the one who won't do the courtesy of listening, she has become the stubborn sinner.

The Lesson
The only biblical justification for giving the cold-shoulder treatment is "preceded by admonition and counsel; it is only employed in cases of bona fide heresy, obdurate divisiveness, or blatant, unrepentant sin; and it is a last resort."¹  KatieLyn is wrong on this one, and anybody who tells her that she is "doing the right thing" has lied to her. 



¹ What does the Bible say about shunning?

At the end of the Day

At the end of the day it came down to this: KatieLyn, the Runaway Bride, needed her mother's approval more than she needed a husband, and tragically, she wanted her mother's approval even more than she wanted God's approval.

Hey now, someone who did not run away...

Hilary Duff - Hey Now - What Dreams Are Made Of.

   ↑ Click the above link for the Lizzie McGuire Movie Clip




Lizzie's inner self told her to run, like this—

But if she'd done that, she would never have realized her dream.

A little something from Joe's Facebook

Some may find this a bit morbid. I cannot help you. It's a graphic. Accept it at face value; and that's an accidental pun, btw.

In one regard, it's an astoundingly good representation of KatieLyn. In another, not so much.

Someone who wants to be loved deeply and fully will delight in Joe.  Someone who wants to please others will not. I'll explain that when I write next time.

Lesson Summary, So Far - II

It has been over ten days since the last post.  This is not because I have nothing to write about. To the contrary, I have notes or draft versions of three posts waiting in the queue.  However, they are all taking a different direction. They are more related to current events, and they are illustrating how KatieLyn's decision making has parallels with the decisions that our politicians have been making for us. I don't want to "go there" without first solidifying where this blog is now. It is appropriate to have a post that summarizes this.

The first "Lesson Summary, So Far" was post #25 dated Saturday, August 15, 2015. At that time I thought I'd be summarizing about every 25 posts and probably be done with this blog by Thanksgiving, 2015.

Today, over 150 posts and a year later, I am posting my second summary. There was never a need for interim summaries because not all that much has changed. Here is what I wrote back then:

To be a good wife, it is important to be able to hear and follow the leading of the Lord. I am of the opinion that the Lord allowed this to come upon her because she really does have the grit it takes to stand up for herself. But she has not had much practice doing that and it is very uncomfortable for her.

I still believe that KatieLyn has the grit it takes to stand up for herself, but she has not.

You probably have a hint at the new direction for this blog—Americans are starting to stand up for themselves against the nanny state. They had not had much practice, they were regularly lectured to be tolerant, and it has been uncomfortable to face the fact that those in authority were deceiving them. But that is changing, and it is most evident in the Trump Movement. Stay tuned...

I think it is important at this point to briefly explain why Joe's early prayers to have KatieLyn see the truth have not been answered yet.  The explanation is this: He was not going to indulge in witchcraft.

That might sound like it is coming out of left field, but really it is not. Witchcraft is using any power other than Allowing God's Power to control or change another person. Using this definition, which can also be restated as witchcraft is the intent to control people and make them do what you want by any spirit other than the Holy Spirit, it is easy to see that witchcraft is performed regularly in Washington. Witchcraft has two forms of abusive power: works of the flesh (cf Galatians 5), and demon-assisted power.  That is the basis for the connection, and Lord willing, that will be explained more fully in future posts.

For now, however, and to stay on the topic of the Runaway Bride, a prayer for KatieLyn to "see the truth" can sound very 'religious.' But such a prayer is pious only if the Holy Spirit does the revealing, and the Holy Spirit will not force KatieLyn or violate her own will to choose. Whenever intimidation, domination, or manipulation is used to make KatieLyn doubt the truth, witchcraft is being used. We know this because God does not intimidate, dominate, or manipulate. A codependency is ungodly because all three of these are in play in that kind of relationship.

The Lesson
It would be an evil thought to assume that because KatieLyn and Joe never worked things out and got back together that God's will was done. Satan's will was done. KatieLyn's low self-esteem makes it unlikely that she will ever be able hang onto and pursue God's best for her. God gave her the grit to stand up for herself, but it is buried very deeply beneath the lies that she believes.  She will not throw off the shackles that make her feel safe as long as she chooses to believe those lies.

KatieLyn is a bookworm, but I guessed she missed one of the main lessons of CS Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia: Aslan is not a tame lion.   I believe that she was attracted to Joe because he was the "wild side" complement that God had placed in her life to meet her need to know that. She rejected it.




PS. I am taking a short break from this blog to write on my newer current events blog, Bootcamp Planet. Don't look for any new posts here until well after Labor Day and even then, rarely until the election. As the tagline on Runaway Bride says, this is a Bible-based blog comparing real life with scripture; there are a lot of time-sensitive comparisons to be made between politics and scripture during this election season! Bootcamp Planet takes that similar approach with current events. Hwere is a link:
Which Bible Character is Donald J Trump?

Another Poster Post

The Message Bible - Matthew 12:22-32

22 A poor demon-afflicted wretch, both blind and deaf, was set down before him. Jesus healed him, gave him his sight and hearing.
23 The people who saw it were impressed - "This has to be the Son of David!"
24 But the Pharisees, when they heard the report, were cynical. "Black magic," they said. "Some devil trick he's pulled from his sleeve."
25 Jesus confronted their slander. "A judge who gives opposite verdicts on the same person cancels himself out; a family that's in a constant squabble disintegrates;
26 if Satan banishes Satan, is there any Satan left?
27 If you're slinging devil mud at me, calling me a devil kicking out devils, doesn't the same mud stick to your own exorcists?
28 "But if it's by God's power that I am sending the evil spirits packing, then God's kingdom is here for sure.
29 How in the world do you think it's possible in broad daylight to enter the house of an awake, able-bodied man and walk off with his possessions unless you tie him up first? Tie him up, though, and you can clean him out.
30 "This is war, and there is no neutral ground. If you're not on my side, you're the enemy; if you're not helping, you're making things worse.
31 "There's nothing done or said that can't be forgiven. But if you deliberately persist in your slanders against God's Spirit, you are repudiating the very One who forgives.
32 If you reject the Son of Man out of some misunderstanding, the Holy Spirit can forgive you, but when you reject the Holy Spirit, you're sawing off the branch on which you're sitting, severing by your own perversity all connection with the One who forgives. 

At first, it may not seem like that passage has a lot to do with this poster—

But keep reading...

A man had been miraculously healed! The people were in awe and began using their research skills to evaluate if this was God, but the Pharisees were willfully blind, unwilling to face the possibility that Jesus was who he said that he was. Like the dog in the poster, they choose to reject what was right in front of them.

There are countless nuggets of revelation in Jesus' response, but the one that connects closely to the Runaway Bride is this:
• One of the indications that a person is willfully blind is that their conclusion does not make sense.
Or to say it another way:
• Nonsensical explanations are indicative of willful blindness.

Jesus calls them out on this.  Their accusation made no sense. It is illogical that Satan would cast out Satan.  In the same way, KatieLyn's explanation that Joe would grow to hate her made no sense. It is totally nonsensical that the man God was using to answer her prayers would not be capable of loving her completely.  Both the Pharisees and KatieLyn were proposing ridiculous explanations for the evidence. In fact, this time, Jesus did not even have to quote the Torah to show where they were missing it—the Pharisees were not even reaching the lower standard of human logic.

Jesus continues to speak.  And it gets a lot more serious.  KatieLyn's rejection of Joe was also a rejection of God's plan for her life. She rejected the plan of the One who is able to save and forgive. That matches verse 31: "There's nothing done or said that can't be forgiven. But if you deliberately persist in your slanders against God's Spirit, you are repudiating the very One who forgives."

Here is how that same 31st verse was translated for the Berean Literal Bible: Because of this I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men; but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.

Deliberate persistence.  On purpose and ongoing. Every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people. Joe forgave KatieLyn within a matter of weeks. She can be forgiven for how she mistreated Joe by trusting in the work of Jesus. But has she blasphemed the Spirit? Jesus said blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 

Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is a settled rejection to the Spirit’s witness to Jesus Christ. It is unrepentant willful blindness to the Spirit’s witness to Jesus. It’s not so much a point of “no forgiveness” as it is a point of “no repentance." ~ Author unknown

That is one of the best definitions I have seen. Not so much no forgiveness, but no repentance. There is an old rule of thumb that says, "if you are concerned that you may have blasphemed the Holy Spirit, then you haven't" This is because a heart that is soft enough to be concerned about that possibility is not deliberately and persistently hard toward the Holy Spirit. 

Prior to, throughout, and even after the engagement period, we had many evidences from the Holy Spirit that marriage to each other was Jesus' plan for their lives. The Holy Spirit witness was so powerful that neither Joe nor I could doubt it. Joe knows that KatieLyn had that witness at the time he proposed. Now she is in a settled rejection of it.

Has KatieLyn blasphemed the Spirit? No. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is a settled rejection to the Spirit’s witness to Jesus Christ, not to another person. Has she blasphemed the plan that the Holy Spirit revealed to her? Probably.  As recently as last month we came across an indicator that she has not yet repented of rejecting the Lord's revealed plan for her life. I started writing about it, but I've left it as a draft. As I said, it was an indicator, not solid proof.  So at this point, I think the Lord showed me something to pray about, not to write about. 

The Lesson
The lesson this time is cautionary, not declarative. I am not pronouncing that KatieLyn's heart is one way or another—I don't know.  But Jesus taught that such hard-heartedness was rebellion against God, and being in rebellion against Him is a very dangerous place. And not just because there will come a judgment day, although there is that; but it is dangerous because when one's relationship with the Lord includes unrepentant rebellion, one is more likely to compound the original error. 

 

meme credit: https://ifunny.co/

Lessons from a Deliverance Ministry

Is Satan really alive and well?
The answer: He is. Bad news for a world that operates virtually unaware of the oppression, depression and very tangible torment daily added to millions of lives by unseen spiritual forces and sources – often infiltrating through the portal of popular entertainment. As Christians, we too often play into the hand of Satan and his demonic hosts when we approach demonic warfare as a theoretical game or ‘curiosity’ rather than a life-threatening conspiracy from the pit of hell.
 Publisher's book review for  Spiritual Warfare: Christians, Demonization, and Deliverance (Payne)

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I wasn't actively seeking to write about this topic. A couple things just "fell into my lap." I am always looking for good reading material; it is not unusual for me to read book review ads like the one above. But a publisher is biased toward its own product, so here is an excerpt from a slightly more balanced description on Google Books (which also wants to sell its product, of course):

We live in a world of distinct opponents; our very lives are a battle. Yet too many Christians lose more battles than they win and endure their walk with God rather than enjoy it because they don't recognize the enemy when they see it.

Using different words, they both point out the same thing:  People are "virtually unaware" and "they don't recognize the enemy." But this is not all just a sales pitch so that you will buy to find out what you are unwittingly oblivious to; it's a truth that many persons are not mindful of their enemy.  It is even worse when Christians are in willful denial that their enemy exists and has already attacked them. But the fact is that there are two spiritual kingdoms operating on the earth, and being a citizen of one puts you at war with the other. You need to know that.

Many "good Christians" don't think they can be influenced by unclean spirits. They haven't dabbled in the occult. They may have been taught that a Christian can't "have" a demon or be possessed by one. The problem with such reasonings is that men have made them up; they are half-truths.

There are many ways that a demon can gain access to a person's mind or his emotions, and playing around with the occult is only one of them. It is not a matter of all-or-nothing 24/7 possession either, because there are many degrees, levels, and routes by which a demon can stalk and frustrate a person. Satan isn't fair, and just the fact that you were created in the image of God is enough to make you his target.

If there is even a teeny bit of sin, the devil can capitalize on it. Furthermore, the sin that the devil uses to get to you may not even be your own; Exodus 20 makes it clear that sin from three or four generations back is all the permission that the devil needs to attack.  Unrepented sins that you have long forgotten about,  things you don't even remember but which were never put under the blood, a demon can use those as its license to attack and bring mental, emotional, or physical torture and torment. Plus, we live in a fallen world, so interacting with almost anything includes some risk of encountering what 2 Corinthians 4:4 calls "the god of this age."

Many Christians suffer under the influence of religious spirits and spirits of legalism which make them judgmental and hypocritical towards others. It is not hard to find examples of this, and common experience with such people ought to refute the notion that a Christian can't have a demon. Spirits of rebellion, resentment, and tale-bearing are often found in churches and among church people, as are spirits of unbelief/doubt, compromise, and confusion. Demons often travel in packs, so if one of those was present and not dealt with, then before long unclean spirits of loneliness, rejection, and depression will show up as well.

One kind of seducing spirit is aimed almost exclusively at the Church: a spirit of heresy. It typically works progressively to bring damnation. It will begin subtly, introducing questioning of truth. This is the seducing spirit that worked on Eve. As soon as Eve began entertaining thoughts in her heart about whether or not such an enticing fruit was really as bad as what her husband had told her, she was as good as out of the garden. The serpent had appealed to her intellectual honesty. Her questioning progressed to doubt, which progressed to confusion, and then ultimately led to the act of rejecting what God had said. Oh, but at least she could be "intellectually honest" and say that she wasn't sure anymore!  


Gateways for Entry

The late Derek Prince, whose experience in deliverance ministry spanned more than fifty years, wrote about some of the common points of demonic entry that many Christians are unaware of. Most people with a nominal knowledge of unclean spirits are aware of the list in Deuteronomy 18:10-12 that includes witchcraft, sorcery, fortunetelling, necromancy, and human sacrifice. Most people who are trying to live a committed life for the Lord do not indulge in these. Dr. Prince said that he did occasionally find these demonic spirits operating in a church because people were involved in these practices, but more often, the point at which a demon had entered was less obvious. The following list of these lesser known ways that a demon can gain access to a person came from his teachings:

• Prenatal influences, especially rejection. A baby is 100% human spirit in utero. He/she can sense and respond to the mother's emotions. If the mother does not want her child, it is possible to pick up a spirit of rejection that may appear to lie dormant for years, but is subtly coloring the way a child views the world. Later, it may attract spirits of  anger, rebellion, or any number of things including homosexuality. (A few homosexuals actually were "born that way," although they were not "created" that way; most, however, seem to have acquired a homosexual spirit during an abusive childhood episode.) 

• Childhood pressures. Demons can approach a child when he/she experiences pressures in the environment. God will protect a child with an initial dose of grace, but if parents are not perceptive, if they continue to keep the child in that environment, or if they brush off an emotional event as 'no big deal,' an unclean can return to "offer help" until eventually the child will latch on to it. Parents should always scrutinize their child's daycare giver, and if something is "funky," they ought to believe the child, not the caregiver's assurances that nothing happened. 

• Manipulation by another person. Some demons will get another human to do the dirty work for them. This may result in a double bonus for the demon because it can destroy two people at the same time. Soulish manipulation by another person—that is abuse of a soul-tie—creates a point of entry for a demon. When a person becomes unnaturally tied to another, it is demonic. Over time, the relationship generally evolves one of two ways: it can become violent/submissive, or it can have an appearance of unity that is actually idolatrous. (The control may include sexual abuse or fornication, but it is primarily a Power thing, not sexual.)

• Moment of weakness.  A demon can find a point of entry at times when a person is vulnerable. Physical tiredness, being emotionally drained, a temporary loss of self-control, or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time can give the demon a metaphorical foot in the door.  The Bible describes this situation as a breech in the hedge of protection that is usually there. 

• Ancestral curses.  A person may not know the history of an ancestor four generations previous, but generational curses are real, they are described in the Bible, and they can give a demon access an unsuspecting person.

Notice that in all five of these situations, the person who is being oppressed by the devil may be completely innocent and done nothing to provoke an attack. Satan does not play fair; he seizes an opportunity. No matter how diligent a person is, we live in a fallen world where the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  If you are a child of God, then Satan's demons are your enemy. It is not being paranoid to accept this, rather, it is foolish to deny that your enemy is out to get you. Satan oppresses people who have done nothing to "deserve" it.

Two Surprising Points

As I was studying this, I discovered two surprising things that are "typical demon," and which are a perfect fit for what we experienced. They are the things that turn this into a Runaway Bride topic!

Lying spirits lie to you. No surprise there. But the lies that they tell often follow a pattern. They tell lies to discourage the brethren.  To discourage a child of God and get him/her off the path that the Lord has set before that person is very wicked. So when someone with a half-century of experience in deliverance ministry used personal examples to illustrate his teaching, and when he mentioned that demons were telling one woman that came for deliverance to "run," my ears perked up. Apparently running is very common. It is one of the tactical lies that demons use to derail God's life plan for people. If they can convince a person to run from God by their "own choice," then everyone in that person's circle of influence is affected too. Except that it wasn't really that person's choice. In his example, the woman had been tricked, pressured, and manipulated into believing that it was her choice—she had not really wanted to make it, but was convinced that she must do it for the "greater good." She disobeyed what her own heart was telling her because the demon persistently told her it was the noble thing to do. KatieLyn kept insisting her actions were also the right thing to do, even though she had great difficulty explaining why she believed it. I see a strong parallel in these women's responses here. 

The other point that seemed to fit KatieLyn as a runaway bride was that demons like to take advantage of sudden terror. Psychologists call them panic attacks, but in reality, demons are usually behind these wildly irrational acts. It never made sense that sensible KatieLyn would pick up and bolt in the middle of the night, unless— unless it was inspired by Satan. If she had rationally decided that this marriage was not for her, there were rational ways to end the engagement. Running off in the middle of the night was not one of those ways. If calling off the wedding was truly of God, then he would have directed her to end it in a more God-like fashion; and He would have told Joe! 

The 3-Part Lesson
1. Running is common a common indicator of demonic influence. KatieLyn's actions seem as nonsensical today as they did the night that she ran away from the Lord's plan for her life. The best explanation for her actions is that she was under the influence of demons.

2. Wildly irrational acts are indicative of a subject being under possible demonic influence. KatieLyn was reportedly hysterical in the hour immediately before her decision to run. (She was in the house alone, so no one saw this, but she phoned her mom; her mom labeled her "hysterical.")

3. And in case you missed the third indicator of demonic influence, I will edit a sentence that you read earlier:  As soon as Eve KatieLyn began entertaining thoughts in her heart about whether or not such an 'enticing fruit' was really as bad as what her husband mom had told her, she was as good as out of the garden wedding. Meditating on thoughts that are contrary to what God has already said is a sure sign of demonic influence.

Payne, Karl I. Spiritual Warfare: Christians, Demonization, and Deliverance. Washington, D.C.: WND Books, 2011.

How to find your Place Derek Prince

Two Spiritual Kingdoms

• There are two spiritual Kingdoms.

• Being a citizen of one puts you at war with the other.

• One proof of two opposing kingdoms is found in Colossians 1:13. For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son.

In the original Greek, two different words are used for kingdom.
    The first one, used with the kingdom of darkness, is exousia. It means the power of authority, the power of rule or government. The second one, used with the Kingdom of His Son, is basileia. It refers to royal power, kingship, or dominion. It describes a reign of royalty as opposed to brute force and coercion.

There are many more scriptures in both the Old and New Testaments that testify to this dichotomy.

Isaiah 60:2
For behold, darkness will cover the earth And deep darkness the peoples; But the LORD will rise upon you And His glory will appear upon you.

Acts 26:18
...to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Me.

There is an ongoing war in the heavens between these two dominions. Being a citizen of one puts you at war with the other. They do not mix. They cannot coexist all snuggled up like Yin and Yang.  The Bible consistently and foundationally uses the terms light and darkness to describe them.  The normal condition is for light to overcome and dispel darkness. However, strife, unbelief, fear, and other sins will bring on a thick darkness. In this state, men will not hear God, they will not receive his teachings. Although they may wish to be enlightened, the darkness makes this difficult because the darkness frustrates and literally bedevils a person so that they become confused.* 

What does this have to do with a Runaway Bride, you ask?

This:  Those who live in denial about the reality of the two kingdoms will give God credit for the works of devils. This is a terrible accusation.

The claim that God led KatieLyn to break the engagement is an accusation about God's character.  It says that God is not able to do what He said that he would do. It says that he cannot get His people to hear Him accurately!  It blames God for Satan's attack!  It claims that God is the author of confusion.

I have laid out in this blog previously that Satan HATES godly marriage. He HATES the formation of godly families.  Satan's nature is to destroy them. And Satan, not God, worked the works of strife, fighting, and destruction in KatieLyn's life. (This will be the subject of a future post: Lessons from a Deliverance Ministry.) The attack on the engagement was an attack of Satan. It was not an "enlightenment" from the Lord.

The Lesson
There are two kingdoms that oppose each other. The strife and fighting with her mom blinded KatieLyn's mind to the beauty and excellency of the character of the Lord Jesus. It weakened her until her mind was indisposed to receive His instructions. Just as darkness has no affinity for light, if the one exists, the other must be displaced.
KatieLyn decided to appease the dark kingdom. She wanted the fighting to stop, and the only way (she felt) that she could make it stop was to appease it. That meant she had to break up with Joe.
The dark kingdom of Satan had maneuvered her into a place where she was being pressured to choose between her mom and Joe. She did not see any way to peaceably have a relationship with both. The fighting had overwhelmed her and bewildered her into a place where she could not think clearly. Such is the effect of a codependency—she relied on her mom to do some of the thinking for her, and her mom's thoughts were all toward what her mom wanted, not what God had said He had chosen.

KatieLyn remains convinced that she made the right choice by appeasing her mom. Next time she will let her mom choose the husband for them.





* Being "in the dark" here does not mean that a person is not saved. Believers whose citizenship is in the Kingdom "of light" can still be assaulted by the prince of darkness. A mind or soul can be "in the dark" and confused even though the spirit of a man is still safely held in the hands of the Lord. The paragraph is speaking of darkness covering the soul, not the spiritual darkness of the lost.

Door Openers to Disaster

Galatians 5:19-21 is a list that many Sunday school curricula will title as "Works of the Flesh." 

That is accurate. But is is also true that 'works of the flesh' are exactly the things that unclean spirits can capitalize on and manipulate to wreak havoc in the life of a believer. The works become doors that open a person up to demonic influences.

Below is an edited version of passages found in Galatians 5. I have tried very hard to not change the scripture, but only to change the viewpoint. The reason for doing this is that believers tend to become familiar with scripture over time. That is generally a good thing, but as they do, they also tend to either put the Bible verse in their doctrinal box or allow it to settle into a rut of familiarity that partially blocks receiving fresh and new insight.  So this edited and paraphrased version takes the emphasis off the "sinful works" aspect and redirects the emphasis to "things that open doors to demonic attack."

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not open the door to evil influences. For these devilish influences are opposed to things of the Spirit and will booby-trap you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you will avoid these things.
Now the doors for demonic attack are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.
I warn you, as I warned you before, that such things will impede you from inheriting the kingdom of God. ... Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh and slammed shut the door on to these ungodly passions and desires.

When we change our viewpoint, when we see these more as gateways for the destroyer, it can change our attitude about the people who are around us.  We are less inclined to have an Us v. Them attitude. It also gives more insight into why KatieLyn ran off in the middle of the night.


I will copy that same passage below, but this time I will add highlighting to the doors that were opened by KatieLyn's family.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not open the door to evil influences. For these devilish influences are opposed to things of the Spirit and will boobytrap you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you will avoid these things.
Now the doors for demonic attack are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity,* strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.
I warn you, as I warned you before, that such things will impede you from inheriting the kingdom of God. ... Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh and slammed shut the door on to these ungodly passions and desires.

Quite frankly, even now over a year later, I was surprised at how many attack routes had been opened up to assail the engagement!  W have discussed all of these at some point in this blog, but I had never seen them laid out in a listing before I saw Galatians 5:16-21 in this new light.

Idolatry — we've discussed how the co-dependency was an idolatrous relationship where KatieLyn ultimately valued her mom's words more than she did what the Lord told her on New Year's Day, 2015.

Enmity*  —  Enmity may or may not belong on this list; it is a "somewhere on the scale" thing. The definition of enmity is "deep-seated, often mutual hatred." It can coexist with deep love, hence we get the term love-hate relationship. I include it here because at some level, enmity was in KatieLyn's mother-daughter relationship at the time Joe met KatieLyn. The hatred was not widespread, but a filament of it ran deep. KatieLyn resented that her mother was holding her back and taking advantage of her help around the home. It appears that Gwen uses filial responsibility as one of her passive/aggressive controls in their codependent relationship.

Strife — KatieLyn's mom provoked fights about the engagement; this created strife.

Jealousy — It was Joe's belief, and I readily concur, that KatieLyn's mom was jealous of her Katie being in love in such an honorable way, (as opposed to Gwen snagging her guy via pregnancy). Gwen was jealous of KatieLyn's success in finding a man and was fearful that she would "lose." She said repeatedly that Joe was "taking" KatieLyn away from her. That is baldfaced jealousy.

Fits of Anger — I did not witness this personally; the closest I came to having first-person knowledge was Joe telling me about a text that he received from KatieLyn's mother along with the testimony of him and KatieLyn about the fighting with her mother being very upsetting.

Rivalries — this is another aspect that stems from the idolatrous co-dependency and Gwen's jealousy of her daughter. It qualifies as a "rivalry" because Gwen felt like she "won" when KatieLyn ran home in the middle of the night. Gwen got KatieLyn and Joe didn't!

Dissensions — a dissension is a difference of opinion. Boy, do I have personal evidence of that!  The emails that Gwen sent me and her confiscation of all means of communication after KatieLyn ran away from her place as bride were just plain nasty. We still have a difference of opinion; I know that KatieLyn rejected the Lord's plan for her life, while Gwen thinks that Katie was smart for disobeying since she was feeling confusion. The confusion had been planted by Gwen during their fights.

Divisions — this came out in the night of KatieLyn's midnight flight.  She chose to divide herself from Joe, with whom she had entered into an engagement promise before the Lord. Her stubborn refusal to allow a Christ-like resolution remains. I have not posted all of the information on this yet, although I have written it up in a draft form.

Envy  —  First, I need to make a distinction between envy and jealousy. Sometimes the two are so interrelated that it becomes hard to know which is which. Jealousy is directed at another person. It could be a fear of being supplanted by someone else, or it could be a resentment of another person. No one gets jealous of a diamond ring because no one want to become a diamond ring. While jealousy is person-directed, envy is greed-related. You could be envious of another person's tangible possessions, like a diamond ring, but you could also be envious of a quality that they possess, a talent or position. Envy can result in covetousness and ingratitude, whist jealousy can result in mistrust or fear of losing a relationship that is important to you.
With that distinction made...
Envy appears to have been Gwen's main motivation for provoking the fights with her daughter. Money was an issue for Gwen the entire time that Joe knew her, but it exploded after KatieLyn ran back home. Gwen was demanding a refund on every penny that she had put into the wedding, which proportionally, wasn't all that much. These issues have been adequately covered elsewhere in this blog and I am not going to belabor them here. 



The Lesson
In the modified version of Galatians 5, I called these behaviors doorways that can give a demon access to afflict you because that is what they do. In the standard version, they are called works of the flesh because that is what they are.  They could also be called sins because that is how the Lord judges them when they have not been confessed, repented of, and placed under the blood.

All of these open the doors to disaster. We thought that because Joe was not experiencing them with KatieLyn, that everything was good. We were wrong. 

Poster Post II

If I judge by this poster...

...then Gwen and her husband were failures as parents.

But is this a biblical standard?

This poster was intended to comfort empty-nesters, to make them feel better about the natural separation that occurs when their child seeks out his or her own destiny.  Empty nests are a cultural phenomena. In the old Semitic cultures of the Bible, a child was typically raised in the family business, especially male children. But this is a blog about a runaway bride, and it uses the biblical definition for hat role, which is most definitely female, so we will limit our discussion to raising girls.

Matthew 10:35, Luke 12:53, and Micah 7:6 all refer to a time when a daughter rises up against her mother, and a person's enemies are the members of her own household. The big picture teaching here is a believer against a non-believer. A believer cannot stop believing without offending God, and non-believers usually will not concede their points, therefore a conflict erupts.
In the microcosm of KatieLyn, the runaway bride, and her mom, Gwen, it wasn't a case where one was Christian and the other wasn't, but that they heard, (or did not hear,) at different levels of clarity.

Under the biblical structure of authority in the home, it was Gwen's role, as the mother, to prevent, stop, or ameliorate the fighting. It is my understanding, however, that she was the provocateur and KatieLyn ended their fighting by calling off the wedding. Neither of those reactions are biblical responses. Trying to hang on and control an engaged daughter is not a godly parenting activity. Instead of spending the engagement period releasing her daughter into God's hands, Gwen spent it nursing her own hurts.

The father, apparently, stood down and let them fight it out. There is a prophecy in Obadiah 1:11 about a father rejecting his role. The children, the Edomites of successive generations, suffered for  father Esau's rejection of his fatherly duty.  Again, we see both societal- and individual-picture consequences.
 "On the day you stood aloof ... you were like one of them," Obadiah 1:11.  According to this verse, God will judge standing back and allowing your wife to fight with your daughter to be counted as if you took part in the fighting yourself. That's a fact.

Titus 2:4 commands that the older women "train the young women to love their husbands and children."  Gwen trained her daughter to fear and to doubt the man that she was engaged to. That's a fact.  Gwen trained her daughter to fear and to doubt the man that God had chosen for her daughter. That's a fact that she is in denial about, because the alternative is too unthinkable. 

The Big Irony 
The way to release a child is to start listening to her. Really listening. Listen with grace and not judgment. One of the nastiest things Gwen did during the engagement was to read all my emails with KatieLyn. No, it is not a sin to be curious, but since KatieLyn lived four hours away, those email were my way of listening to her. But since she knew her mother would be critiquing everything she'd ever tell me, I realize now that she was having to write to two different audiences!  That kind of meddling is unconscionable: I wanted to hear KatieLyn but she was writing for her mom! 

The way to release a child is to start listening to her. In hindsight I see that Gwen could not imagine KatieLyn's needs because she was too busy directing them rather than listening for them.


The Lesson
KatieLyn's parents were good at the take-your-child-to-church Christianity. They were good at the develop-your-child's-gifting Christianity. They were good at the teach-your-child-what-is-good Christianity. But they stank at the not-mine-to-keep Christianity, and both KatieLyn the runaway bride and Joe the run-from groom paid dearly for it. KatieLyn still is. 

Releasing a child by listening to them means that you stay connected, but give up the directed part of the relationship. Gwen was giving KatieLyn advice based on the little girl Katie. It wasn't bad advice to give a teen, but it stank for a going-on-29 woman.

Poster Post I

     I found this poster this morning. With a half-decent graphics program, I think I could have made one myself with better aligned typesetting, and I'd have chosen a color scheme that is a little more compatible with my blog's background.
     But the point is not about quality design; the point is that I did not make this up. Other people know and recognize this same truth. The devil can, will, and does send people that you least expect to knock you off God's plan for your life. 
     It happened to KatieLyn. And the person she least expected was her own mom. It really was the perfect set-up: a co-dependent daughter, a controlling passive/aggressive mother, and a milquetoast father.  KatieLyn could not find the faith and courage to say "yes" to God.

The Lesson
  "So pay attention to how you hear. To those who listen [to the Word], more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what they think they understand will be taken away from them." Luke 8:18
This is exactly what happened to KatieLyn. She began entertaining her mom's thoughts instead of Jesus' thoughts.

Seeking Someone to Devour

Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
 1 Peter 5:8

Your adversary is seeking someone to devour.  He is on the prowl.  
The devil prowled around KatieLyn* and devoured her god-given dream, and then he got Joe's dream for dessert!    

It amazes me how may people consider themselves to be Christian and yet are in denial about the reality of the devil and his methods. Many will prefer to bad-mouth God rather than admit the devil stole from them!  Somehow it becomes "easier" for them to believe that God does not want them to be blessed than it is to accept the idea that the devil got the better of them. They will make God out to be a niggardly closefisted step-father rather than call the devil a thief.  

Sometimes they will even blame themselves for the loss! Or maybe they will try to convince themselves that they didn't really want it after all. Or worse, they will fall into the deception that they are better off with out God's intended blessing—that it wasn't a blessing after all.  

But the Bible says Satan is looking for those he can destroy. One cannot destroy something that is already ruined. The devil looks for good things to destroy, like a godly marriage. This Answer to fifteen years of KatieLyn's prayers made a prime target for the devil. He lusted for its destruction and pulled out the stops to despoil it.

Those who want a soft, happy, and comfortable religion will stick their heads in the sand before they will face the truth. This is a set-up for repeating mistakes from lessons that were not learned the first time, nor the second. Christianity, lived right, requires grit.

That Satan makes destructive attacks on the godly is an ancient truth. In Job 1:7, God asks Satan what he has been up to. And:
"Satan answered the LORD, 'I have been roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.'"

Compare that with the earlier verse from 1 Peter 5:8:
"Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

It is the same.

The same Bible that warns believers of Satan's schemes also gives instructions for the proper response. "Do not give the devil a foothold," Ephesians 4:27.  The King James says, "Neither give place to the devil." Don't get angry, neither give him a place. Yet that is precisely what happened in the case of the runaway bride. Her mother provoked her to anger by intentionally picking fights and then KatieLyn gave place to the devil by putting more trust in the words that her mom was using to rile her up than she did trust the Lord's answer to her prayers.

The Lesson
Satan is not on your side. Anyone who intentionally picks fights with you is not on your side, no matter how much they claim to be doing it "for your own good."   Provoking a person to anger weakens them.  Whether she meant to or not, KatieLyn's mom weakened KatieLyn's faith.

It is plain that Gwen, mother of the runaway bride, never fully trusted her daughter; and she trusted God even less. We see this in her behavior. Gwen felt compelled to insert herself into the engagement. She could not simply state her position once and let God handle it; she had to keep coming back over and over until KatieLyn described the fighting as "constant."

Gwen was always there to give the devil a foothold. Night after night she was building a larger platform for the devil to stand on, as time after time she would gin up KatieLyn's faith-destroying anger. The devil had found someone he could devour, and because of the codependent relationship between KatieLyn and her mom, it would be a two-fer.  Not only could Satan destroy the liberating marriage that God had planned for KatieLyn, he could also drive her and her mom into an even deeper codependency.




* Pseudonyms are used throughout this blog. KatieLyn is the Runaway Bride, Joe is the Run-From Groom, and Gwen is Mother of the Runaway Bride.

The Devil's Job Description— and How to say "You're fired!"

Satan's job description is given in John 10:10 where he is identified as a thief. Jesus is doing the speaking, and the KJV translates it this way:
    The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

There are many other verses that tell what Satan is: adversary, accuser, deceiver, destroyer, evil one, father of lies, god of this world, murderer, etc. If you want to see more with scripture references, there is a link in the footnotes. John 10:10 adds "thief"to that list, but this verse also includes three purposes for his coming, (a) to steal, (b) to kill, and (c) to destroy.

So while it may be true that "everything happens for a reason," too often the reason is that Satan is at work stealing, killing and destroying. This is particularly true in the life of a Christian who is trying to live a good life, for these are the targets that are most valuable in Satan's long war against God.  

That KatieLyn's mother would not consider that her daughter was under a spiritual attack appalls me to this day! And I chose the verb carefully there. I said she would not consider, not that she did not consider. It was an act of Gwen's will; a choice was made that decided her daughter Katie was not listening to Satan's subtle doubt-provoking lies.

I am appalled that Gwen would not consider it because scripture says that it can, does, and will happen. Practically everyone who has tried to walk a faith walk for more than a few consecutive minutes has experienced satanic attack and knows that it happens. The notion that "if it happens, then it must be God's will" is false.  This ideology, that nothing can be achieved unless Allah wills it, is Islam. It is not the Jewish Torah  nor the Christian Holy Bible. It is a doctrine of demons.

If KatieLyn was given counsel that "if it was God's will, then things would have worked out," her counselor was lying to her. Many, many things are God's will but man stubbornly opposes it and thwarts God's will. 

The classic prayer that nearly all public school students fifty years ago would memorize says in part, "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  Jesus would not have needed to instruct His disciples to pray this kind of prayer if God's will had been a done deal.

As I explained in my last post, Satan operates by putting ideas in a person's mind and allowing them to react to it. And when we add that to his job description that we read today, we ca determine that it was Satan's job to break up a godly relationship. It was his job to rob KatieLyn of her faith that God had provided her a husband. It was the devil's job to kill off KatieLyn's hope, the anchor of her soul. It was the enemy's job to destroy this marriage before it could start, and he did his job. He fully succeeded.  KatieLyn caved in and ran away in the middle of the night.

The irony is that she believed that she was being strong to do the right thing! That is how Satan deceives though. If it was God's will that KatieLyn and Joe get married, and we had multiple confirmations that it was His will both before and even after KatieLyn ran off, then she had listened to the messages of devils and was being strong in opposing God.

As promised, we are going to inspect 2 Corinthians 10:5 more closely because it outlines the proper response for the times that Satan slithers up to trick you into opposing God.  Remember it said:
   We demolish arguments and every lofty thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5

How to Fire the Devil

Using Offense Maneuvers
The verb demolish is rendered in other translations as destroy, tear down, overthrow, cast down, and bringing down.  This is the role of we, the subject. God does not do this for us. We decide what to do with thoughts. 

The noun arguments is rendered in other translation as speculations, imaginations, and reasonings. These are things that have the appearance of being wise and true, but are not. 

The noun phrase every lofty thing that sets itself up is rendered in other translations as pretension, proud obstacle, lofty opinion, presumption, high thing lifting itself up, high thing that exalteth itself, arrogant obstacle that is raised up, intellectual arrogance, and stronghold that towers high in defiance.  These are things that are prideful. 

Using Defense Maneuvers
The verb take captive is consistently rendered with the word captive or captivity across multiple translations.  The original Greek carries the idea of "leading away captive," as opposed to holding in it a prison cell. Again, this is the role of we, the subject. God does not do this for us.

The noun thought is used in most translations. Douay-Rheims uses understanding, and the Aramaic Bible in Plain English renders it as mind.  It is the mental perception which must be addressed, or as Weymouth puts it, "we carry off every thought as if into slavery—into subjection to Christ."

The Lesson
They say hindsight is 20/20.  In hindsight, this is what KatieLyn ought to have done: demolished the arguments that rose to set themselves against the knowledge of God. Bur she was in an untenable place because Satan had confounded her mom into being a passive/aggressive enemy; one day she was picking a fight with KatieLyn and the next she was being ever-so supportive. That way Gwen could claim that she was supporting "whatever Katie chose," all the while keeping the tension on her apron string just loose enough that KatieLyn that KatieLyn would think she was freely making her own choice while keeping enough tension on it that Katie could not break free of their dysfunctional codependency. Never mind that "whatever Katie chose" was not lining up with the knowledge of God. 

In the end, KatieLyn decided that not losing her mother was more important than risking the unknowns of getting a husband. In the end, she did exactly what the devil had schemed for her. She got a measure of known safety and peace, but she threw away her victory in life to keep it. 


 Footnotes:
Names, Titles, Descriptions and Symbols of Satan in the Bible charted list by agapegeek

Blinded by Willful Blindness

Willful Blindness...

That was the answer to a question that I posed to God. Willful blindness.
It was one of those times that a concept is simultaneously shockingly bizarre and yet makes total sense—a mind-expanding closure.

It was shockingly bizarre to me because God created eyeballs, and an emotionally healthy person would use that gift. I know Paul wrote that presently we "see through a glass darkly," but in context, he was encouraging the church at Corinth to grow up, to press on, to know more; he was not offering an excuse to quit.
I realize that some problems are too big for us to comprehend. In my case, an example would be  almost any astrophysics formulae, but that does not mean that I don't want to understand it! And is certainly did not mean that I should not have pressed on from long division to quadratic equations to imaginary numbers. One of the first things on my bucket list for heaven is to take a calculus class.

I understand that some things are complex beyond our ability and that we need to put them on the shelf for a while until the rest of our skills catch up. But that is very different than choosing to stick one's head in the sand and refusing to grow. The answer I received during months of prayer and searching was that prideful obstinance of the heart had led to willful blindness of God's plan.

The willful blindness is integrated into the codependent relationship between KatieLyn, the runaway bride,  and her mom. If either of them ever wishes to be healed of that dysfunction, the Lord is waiting on them to request it. If only one desires it, there will be some tumultuous times, but if both wanted it they would end with a healthier relationship that is even stronger because it can love and trust in each other's independence. From Joe's* and my perspective, it does not greatly matter who was more responsible for this willful blindness; the end result was the same.

Spiritual Sight and Perception

The willful blindness is a spiritual blindness. To anyone who likes to think of him or herself as a good Christian, being called "spiritually blind" is the ultimate insult!  The knee-jerk reaction of many is to  immediately become so offended that they become willfully deaf too and won't listen to what the Spirit says. This is characteristic of the enemy's strategy, to decommission one's spiritual senses. He will go after the others too:  You won't know if it smells fishy, you may find it distasteful, and you won't be able to put your finger on that bad feeling. It makes for a cascading effect where all your spiritual sensors have been so disabled that you become confused. Once the confusion sets in, the enemy will ramp up the fear factor and you are out of the faith it takes to please God. It is Hebrews 11:6 all over again. That is what the enemy was after all along: Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who diligently search for him.

Once you are in a spot where you cannot trust (I think this was KatieLyn) or don't know (I think this was her mom) what God is saying, the devil is going to show up to try and take you the rest of the way out.  His goal is to stop God's will from being completed, so messing with your ability to know the will of God is a major strategy of his. 

A Danger Zone

When your spiritual senses have been attenuated, and especially if you have not submitted your will to the Lord's will and resisted the devil's silky suggestions, you have entered a danger zone. Joe was not aware that KatieLyn had entered the danger zone because when she talked to him, she still sounded like she did before her mom started picking faith-destroying fights with her.  At the end, she admitted she had been false that way; if she had told the truth they could have resisted the devil together and quite possibly received a different outcome. 

Why would she deceive Joe in that way?  I don't know for certain, but in the overwhelming number of real-life experiences at-large and from available circumstantial evidence in this case, the answer is probably "pride."  And not totally self-centered pride either; we saw indications that she was protective of her mom's pride too in that KatieLyn downplayed how severe the fighting had been and held back on the reasons her mom did not want her to get married. She was still trying to make her mom look good, or at least, not look bad.

I feel for her, because her mom really had manipulated her into being between a rock and a hard place, but a mature person would not have been so susceptible to such codependent-manipulation in the first place. And if there was one thing that really stood out, even from the first hour that I'd met her mom, it was that her mother was waaayy over interventionist-protective and had slowed down KatieLyn's maturing into womanhood. She'd treated Katie like she was about 14 years old.

The Pride that Blinds

It would be speculation to say that this section of today's post applies to KatieLyn's mom. I never knew Gwen well enough to say definitively whether she does or does not believe in the devil. I do know that her reactions fit the behaviors of a person who either does not believe in the reality of the devil and that the demons that Jesus cast out were what we, in the 21st century, now identify as mental illness; or perhaps she acknowledges their reality but rationalizes that Christians cannot be influenced by them. At any rate, her belief system does not determine reality. And the reality is that the devil had a major, although not exclusive, role in breaking apart this marriage before it could begin.

Satan hates marriage. There is evidence of his work in our political system where the very definition of marriage has been rewritten and devalued by homosexual activists and godless judges.  Satan particularly despises Christian marriages where children are raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. He set out to prevent the marriage of KatieLyn and Joe by attacking the weakest link, and the weakest link was the codependency between KatieLyn and her mom. It was easy for him to exploit that. Satan is a master of deception; he could put thought in Gwen's mind that seemed to be wise, and all the while they were against God.

Satan operates by putting ideas in a person's mind and allowing them to react to it. We can accept it, reject it, or save it and mull it over later. But the Bible has a clear statement for what the response ought to be. This brings us to the place in each post where we compare real life with scripture.

We demolish arguments and every lofty thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5

If we fail to identify Satan as the source of these thoughts, then we will think they are our own. He will craft them so subtly that if not properly analyzed, they will appear to be wise. That is when the pride that blinds kicks in—these ideas of ours seem so wise. The things of God become foolishness. 


The Lesson
In my next post, I will dissect that verse more closely, but for today's lesson we want to look at the big picture in the context of willful blindness.  Clearly there are 'arguments' and logical reasonings that go against the knowledge of God. The Greek word in the original is logismos and it is not hard to see where our English word logic is rooted. The Theory of Evolution is a prime example of an intellectual argument that is against God. 
There are also 'lofty things' that are set up against the knowledge of God. The Greek here is hypsōma, which can be either a literal or an esoteric height. One could say it is the kind of thought that figuratively puts on on his/her high horse. 
Christians would not be instructed to pull down and demolish these kind of thoughts if we never had them. God did not give these thoughts to us. He will not oppose Himself!  So either we dreamed up ideas that went against God or Satan gave the ideas to us.

Satan not only can, but does, put thoughts that go against the knowledge of God in people's minds. To deny that this happens to you is to be willfully blind.










* Joe is the run-from groom

[Here is a bonus bit of wisdom: If somebody is complaining about a problem that money can easily fix, then it is either a superficial complaint that does not reach over into the spirit realm, or they are lying about what is bugging them.]