Poem on History of Socialism in the US

REJECTED
(Author, V.M. Rodebaugh) Copyrighted 1938
A stranger stood at the gates of Hell,
And, the Devil himself had answered the bell;
He looked him over from head to toe, And said, “My friend, I’d like to know
What have you done in the line of sin;, To entitle you to come within”
Then Franklin D., with his usual guile,
Stepped forth and flashed his toothy smile.
“When I took charge in thirty-three, A nation’s faith was mine,” said he.
“I promised this and I promised that,
And I calmed them down with a fireside chat.
I spent their money on fishing trips,
And I fished from the decks of their battleships;
I gave the jobs on the W.P.A., Then raised their taxes and took it away.
I raised their wages and closed their shops;
I killed their pigs and burned their crops;
I double-crossed both old and young, And still the fools my praises sung.
I brought back beer, and what do you think?
I taxed it so high they couldn’t drink.
I furnished money with government loans,
When they missed a payment I took their homes.
When I wanted to punish folks, you know, I’d put my wife on the radio.
I paid them to let their farms lie still, And imported foodstuffs from Brazil.
I’d curtail crops when I felt real mean,
And then shipped corn from the Argentine.
When they’d start to worry, stew and fret, I’d get them chanting the alphabet---
With the A.A.A. and N.L.B.,
The W.P.A. and the C.C.C.---
With these many units I got their goats,
And still I crammed it down their throats.
My workers worked with the speed of snails,
While the taxpayers chewed their finger-nails.
When the organizers needed dough,
I closed up the plants for the C.I.O.
I ruined jobs and I ruined health,
And I put the screws on the rich man’s wealth.
And some, who couldn’t stand the gaff,
Would call on me, and how I’d laugh!
When they got too strong on certain things,
I’d pack and head for old Warm Springs.
I ruined their country, their homes and then,
I placed the blame on “Nine Old Men.”
Now Franklin talked both long and loud,
And the Devil he stood and his head he bowed.
At last he said, “Let’s make it clear, You’ll have to move. You can’t stay here,
For once you mingle with this mob, I’ll have to hunt myself a job.”
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